Lobo's Lessons

I'm going home...

2011-04-04T15:45:00.000+12:00

Twenty-three hours to go... and soon, I'm going to be home...

Home, where the land beckons, waiting for her traveling son to return.

Home, where my parents and siblings await with beaming smiles.

Home, where I left half my heart, in this journey to broaden the mind with new knowledge and experience.

Twenty-three hours to go...

Screw you Ainis Aziz, you B***h!!!

2011-03-28T23:25:00.000+13:00

And to conclude my rather controversial post yesterday, in which I exposed a fraud for whom she really was, I received another private message. However, it was not as I would have expected at all. I include the exchange below (if you missed the previous post, please read that one first). Do tell me what you think of the whole affair if you could spare the time.

__________________________________________________________

Ainis Aziz 28 March at 22:44 Report

Hi..how you doing..and how was your day??..so nice to hear from you...i really want you to be of help to me, tell me things about Malaysia, about the environment ,the way of living, and if the place is good for investment. because i want to buy a house and invest in Malaysia
I really love to know, I think right now you are the only one i know and trust, I have gone .through your profile and i see you are a good person.. i can trust you with your information, please get back to me as soon as possible for me to know the next step to take. Hope to hear from you soon,i really want us to be close’s really need your help when i get to Malaysia. Take care...

Abdullah Mohd Nawi 28 March at 23:06

You must be crazy, just plain stupid, or both.
If you didn't understand what I said earlier, let's make it simple - SOD OFF! F**K OFF! JUMP OFF A CLIFF AND DIE!
PERGI MAMPOS LA BETINA GILA!!!!

Abdullah Mohd Nawi 28 March at 23:11

And to the scammer behind 'Ainis Aziz'. You think I'm stupid enough to fall for your scam? to fall for your 'oodles and oodles' of money, or your wanting to 'invest' in Malaysia?? You SICK SICK SICK MOTHERF**KER! YOU STUPID PIECE OF PIG EXCREMENT!!!

Abdullah Mohd Nawi 28 March at 23:12

I do believe I have had my say.

And this time, I really do bid you farewell before I block you. May God give you what is due to you and your kind.

__________________________________________________________________

I have blocked her profile, though I do not know how that affects private messages.
Whatever it is, deluded psycho or African black money scammer, I do urge you, dear friends, to be extra vigilant to the 'friends' you meet on Facebook.

They could very well be the last thing you see...

Lu Ingat Saya Ni Bodo Ka??? (You Think I'm Stupid???)

2011-03-28T01:42:00.000+13:00

Starting a few days ago, a young woman sent me a personal message on Facebook. It was a rather interesting message, which lead me to question her authenticity, and even her sanity. The following is the exchange.

__________________________________________________________________________

Between You and xxxxxx

xxxxxxx 25 March at 14:52 Report

How are u doing today?..Your profile caught my Attention and saw we had something in common...so i have decided to contact you...I shall tell u a little about myself am xxxxxxx from sabah a state in Malaysia but currently living here in England.......I intend to visit Malaysia soonest but i don't know anyone in Malaysia.I was hoping maybe we can be friends,

Abdullah Mohd Nawi 25 March at 23:03

Sure, send me a friend request and we'll talk.

xxxxxxx 26 March at 21:40 Report

hello how are you doing today ..actually my late father is from sabah a place in Malaysia but since i was born i have never been there that is why i have chosen to come over and see how Malaysia looks like,and i don't know anybody in Malaysia because i have never been there,and i went through your profile and chose a man of your kind that i will be with whenever am there ,because i don't know anybody in Malaysia you are the only one that i know ,and you have to show me around when am there because i will be coming by next month i will stay for 3weeks i hope you will have a enough time for me .i will give you a call so that you will come and pick me at the airport ok...i will be waiting to read from you thanks hummmkisss...

Abdullah Mohd Nawi 26 March at 22:56

Whatever it is, please send me a friend request first so we are able to access some basic information about each other. I do have some things to say, but I shall refrain until we are connected before doing so.

xxxxxxx 28 March at 00:27 Report

Am so happy to hear back from you. I want to get to know you better and also for you to get to know me better...My full name are xxxxxxxx , I am mixed, my father is from Malaysia and my mother is from England...I speak very very little Malay...lol i was born here and lived in London all my life...lol...i am so looking forward to visit Malaysia very soon ..omg.. I have never been there...i feel so happy am coming to my father's land...haaaa...i want to know you better.......I live in regent street,, I am a professional system analyst...that I studied in college....but you see....my parents are so rich...they are company shareholders here...living in durham...they bought so many bank shares for me that pays me now so much well.am so happy to know you....hope to hear from you..

Abdullah Mohd Nawi 28 March at 01:27

Hello xxxxx,

The reason I gave my reply was so that I could verify a few things regarding your identity and your authenticity. Thus the request for a Facebook friend request. After not receiving any such verification, I will proceed with replying this post with the original answer that I wrote:
______________________________________________________

Dear Ms xxxxx,

I hate to break it to you but - firstly, if you had gone through my profile at all, you would discover that I am in NZ, not Malaysia. So that pretty much blows the whole 'having gone through my profile' out of the water. Minus one for credibility.

Secondly, you claim to be from the UK, and to have never set foot on Malaysian soil. However, your profile pictures were all taken in Malaysia (unless you elaborately spent thousands of pounds making a studio look like Malaysia). The water meter in the first picture of you wearing Punjabi suit (if I am not mistaken) is standard Malaysian issue, complete with irregular tarmac synonymous with Malaysian roadworks. Your second picture is you attending what would appear to be a 'kenduri' of sorts (If you're not sure what that means, it is a banquet accompanying a wedding reception, though I am very sure that is not the case). I could be wrong, but I will never find sugarcane growing in the streets in the UK, but it does show in the background of this picture. The makciks (or of course if you are not familiar with this word it refers to aunties, or general old ladies) are also a great addition to the picture, wearing traditional Malaysian garments. Or did you skilfully make these replicas to imitate being in Malaysia, while you were of course away in, where was it again? Regent Street?
Your third picture is a closeup of you in a very Malaysian banquet setting, complete with VIP wordings on the table. Probably in a hotel, but judging from the lighting, most probably a hall of some sorts.
This makes you either not a very good liar, or very, very, very rich as you so claim that you managed to transform physical London settings to those in Malaysia (where you of course have never been).
Minus 100 for credibility.

Thirdly, I am a linguist, and one of the things I study is people's speech patterns. Having been born and raised in the UK, I would know a thing or two of how a Brit would communicate. Your speech, madam, displays no such characteristics. You do not display the characteristics of a native speaker of English. In fact, if I didn't know any better, it is Malaysian, though you claim to have no links to Malaysia whatsoever. Minus 50 fr credibility.

Fourthly, you send personal messages, and yet make no move, as requested, to divulge any information about yourself from your own profile. This indicates you have plenty to hide. Very strange for someone who is willing to come to a country and put all her trust in the hands of a single man she doesn't even know (and who isn't even in the country). She doesn't even know where he is from, where he is living, and she is asking him to pick her up at the airport (which airport would that be by the way? KL international? Penang International? Johor International? Sabah International?).
Minus another one for credibility. Heck, let's just minus a hundred while we're at it.

So, thus far, we've established that you have -251 ( is it now?) for credibility, which means you are not at all trustworthy in the least, and not mindful enough of detail to scam someone without at least trying to make it look credible enough. A very sloppy job indeed.

And we reach the final point, though you would not have known this if you looked at my profile because I chose not to display it (though my NZ location is very much accessible), I am a happily married man with a beautiful wife and two very handsome boys, whom I so absolutely adore.

And so, madam, in the vein of my very British upbringing, I bid you farewell.

Of course, if my analysis were not as accurate as I think they are, you have my sincere apologies, but still the answer would be NO, I do not wish to leave NZ, go to Malaysia, pick you up from whichever airport you are flying into, spend 3 weeks, or do anything of the sort.

Adieu.

_________________________________________________________

I will not post her name here on a public forum, but to substantiate my argument, her profile pictures can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?profile=1&id=100002223934374 . I do not know how long they will be up if she realises I have seen through the charade.

I leave the judgement to you dear friends...

DIA INGAT SAYA BODO KA????

Suicide - inevitable or avoidable?

2011-03-25T01:06:00.001+13:00

Image credit here

Today I read an article in the NST about a young woman who attempted to commit suicide by jumping off the KB Mall rooftop. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your point of view), she was not successful. She jumped right into a safety net waiting below. This got me to thinking why did she do it? As a Malay Muslim she would have believed that nothing would be waiting for her except eternal damnation.Yet she chose to (unsuccessfully) take the fastest way out of her misery.

I do not presume to know her story, or her reasons, and based on that alone I cannot pass judgement. That is for the Lord to do in his own time and will. What I can do is draw comparisons to my experiences, and to those of people that I know.

I think that almost everyone has had a moment, no matter how brief, where a suicidal thought enters their mind. It doesn't have to be a long lingering thought, festering within the deepest recesses of your mind, just waiting for the right moment to overcome your senses. All it takes is a small microsecond of a thought, or even the simple question "I wonder what would happen if I died today... What would he/she/they feel?". Some people may vehemently disagree, but to those who are truthful to themselves, they will know what I am talking about. We are human beings, and we all come to a certain phase in our lives where we will be tested, sometimes beyond what we imagine we can endure. For me it came when I was heartbroken over a girl I had had a relationship with for four long years. Trust me, when you are in college, four years is a long time to be with someone. But I was. And like every relationship, when the cracks start to show and a couple lacks the strength to reapply the cement that once held them together, it shatters and dies.

And that happened to me.

I remember months of being in an abyss of darkness and pain, where I felt there was no end in sight. The more I tried not to think about her, the more I did, and the more I did, the more I died inside. Every day passed by in agonising slowness, and numbness and pain were the only two emotions I felt contained within. Sometimes the heartache would take on a physical dimension, and I would suffer real physical pain, something I never knew could be possible. My chest would tighten and my lungs would feel constricted, and sometimes I really did feel like dieing.

But I held on.

I know it sounds cliche, but I turned to God more than I ever did in the previous four years of my life. My prayers started to become regular, and I found comfort there. I foundd new joy in being with my family. I immersed myself in bowling, and became good enough to coach the district bowling team. I started taking my Masters. Eventually, although the pain did not go disappear, it became bearable, though certain times were more difficult than others.

And I remember clearly, exactly one year after my breakup, I woke up in the morning and found no tightness in my chest. I remember seeing the morning sky, as if I was seeing it for the first time, and the haze that I had been in for the past year had been lifted. The pain was gone. I was finally able to get on with life, not by escaping the pain, or finding comfort in other women. I just gave myself time.

I know that my story is hardly unique, and that millions upon millions of people all over the world go through the same thing every day... But that is exactly my point.

In the words of R.E.M :
"When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes"

Isn't that the truth...

Post 22 February Christchurch Earthquake

2011-03-07T16:42:00.001+13:00

Image credit here

It is now coming up on two weeks since the horrifying 6.4 earthquake , 11km deep, ravaged Christchurch and caused death, destruction and total chaos to the city and its inhabitants. Not in the very least, coupled with the 7.1 earthquake on 4 September 2011 and the 5000 or so ensuing aftershocks to date, it has frayed my nerves almost to the brink of exhaustion. I am unable to concentrate on anything at this point in time, and if that wasn’t enough, the 4.8 aftershock followed by 3 subsequent aftershocks were significant enough to put me teetering on the edge.

Initially after the first major Canterbury quake, the aftershocks, though annoying and sometimes a little hairy, were bearable because of the knowledge that they wouldn’t be as bad as the initial quake. Well, after the untold destruction of the 22 February quake, and a death toll approaching 200, that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. Before it used to be “oh, it’s just an aftershock”. Now it’s “is this a big one?”, or “is this it?”. Very significant difference indeed. Gone is the sense of security and safety. Gone and replaced with impending dread. Every single day.

How is this affecting my research, besides the not being able to concentrate part?

First and foremost, the university is closed and has been closed ever since the 22 February. How long I cannot speculate, as my building, Te Pourewa in the Faculty of Education was hit badly. From what I understand the piping is totally gone, there are cracks through which we can see the sky, and the staircases have been separated from their base. This means no access to my room, my books, my documents, or anything in the building. I have been displaced, and will now have to find a good place to do my work. Home is a difficult option as I have small boys. Enough said.

Also, because of this delay, I may run into problems later with visa and extension of my studies.

Another pressing matter is that I am scheduled to go back to Malaysia for data collection in roughly a month’s time, and my inability to access my supervisors will also have an impact on my upcoming pilot study.

And to top it all off, I have pretty much lost my job, which equals to loss of income. What are the prospects of teaching in a language school that depends on the enrolments of foreign students after a major earthquake has shattered the city?... My thoughts exactly.

We’ll see how events unfold in the coming weeks.

CHRISTCHURCH EARTHQUAKE 22 FEBRUARY 2011

2011-02-22T22:45:00.005+13:00

It has been a terrifying ordeal.

I am drained physically, emotionally and mentally.

When the quake hit, I was 5 floors up, in a building right at the heart of Christchurch.

It started as any normal aftershock would, with the familiar roaring sound of the very earth moving beneath us. After 2 seconds I realised it was no normal aftershock, as the familiar rumbling turned to violent shaking.

I was thrown off my feet, and landed on my knees. Computer monitors toppled everywhere. The shaking seemed to engulf the world, and my mind almost went blank. I remember falling down. I remember clambering under a table with Bronwyn, my boss. I remember a short respite where as I slowly stood up, I looked out the window and all I saw was smoke and dust, like a bomb had gone off in the middle of the city.

My mind still had trouble trying to take everything in. Aftershocks I can take with relative ease... A full-on earthquake.. with me smack bang in the middle of it all... Now that's a totally different story.

I come to my senses as someone barges in through the door and calls everyone to evacuate the building.

We comply.

Everything is a haze as I step onto the street. People are wandering like lifeless shells, not knowing where to go, everyone's faces pale in shock of the enormity at what lay before them - utter devastation of what was a vibrant city just minutes before.

I call my wife, and breathe a sigh of relief as she tells me she and the children are OK, uninjured and taking refuge under the table. I am proud of them.

My mind tells me to find a place to take refuge, at least until the worst of the onslaught is over. I go to Victoria Square, a green patch in the middle of town, away from the collapsing structures around us.

People are everywhere. Some are crying. Some are comforting one another. Others make jokes, trying to lighten the mood, though nothing can take away to impending sense of danger that is running rampant on everybody's mind.

My heart jumps as the ground rumbles from below and I know that an aftershock is imminent.

The earth shakes and buildings start crumbling even more.

My eyes are wide with fear.

After half an hour, or it could have been 15 minutes or an hour.. time seemed to cease to exist and I felt like I was in a bubble that was distanced from reality.

I knew I had to make my way home.

So I got up, and waded through the liquefaction and sewage, my feet becoming wetter and and wetter, as the water gushed through the gaping hole in right shoe. I have no choice but to soldier on. I walk to my car... and as I walk beside the river Avon I see shattered windows and crumbled walls... until I see something that astounds my already battered senses - a high-rise building totally in ruins. I can't help but think about how many people were in the building when the earthquake hit.

I reach the car, and breathe a sigh of relief. Still intact, with all the surrounding cars crushed by bricks. My only task - clear a path through the rubble - by hand.

I do.

It takes me 2 hours to drive through the city, back home to my wife and children.

I reach home, and find them under the table.. safe and sound.

Pray for us.

Study on Hearing-impaired student (Taken off my PhD Blog)

2011-02-19T01:35:00.000+13:00

I have been teaching the pre-intermediate class for two days now. I only have 2 students at the moment, as on of them has moved to the intermediate class. After two days in I finally get a clearer picture of what is going on with the subjects of my research.

Yuichi, the hearing impaired student (HIS) is performing much better than I expected, even given his hearing impairment. His grammar is rock-solid for the level he is in, and he reads and does the written work exceptionally fast. I find that the only difficulty I have when teaching him is when we try to speak to each other, and I believe that will be the best goal I can set – to enable Yuichi to hold a decent conversation with another person in English, without too much dependence on writing things down to clarify (which is the strategy I have resorted to for the moment for when communication breaks down).

My other student, and middle-aged Japanese gentleman who goes by the nickname ‘Hoy-hoy’ is a retired medical technician (a guy who handles lab equipment etc. in hospitals). He works very hard, bless his soul. He makes up for what he lacks in proficiency with ever-present smiles and an overabundance of enthusiasm. Nevertheless, it still poses a challenge for me, as I believe that Hoy-hoy may not belong in the pre-intermediate level. His reading and writing skills and barely passable for the grade, and during the listening activity we had in class today, he did not even manage to get a single answer right. This was after listening to the text a number of times, which confirms my suspicions that not only is the speed of speech in the present level too fast for him, he does not understand many of the words. But he tries, with Kamikaze spirit, in the true Budo tradition as befitting his ancestors.

Between the two, my work is cut out for me. Since teaching this level, I have had to slow down my speech considerably, focusing on every word, making everything count. Often times I have to repeat the words a few times for them both, and even more so with Yuichi as he struggles to understand spoken English. This may sound funny to many people, but I even strained my neck the first day in class, from excessive nodding and gesturing, exacerbated by having to do many of the actions and repeat the words in slow motion, and moving my head up and down to provide more a more visual, exaggerated form of communication that many ESL teachers teaching foreign students are familiar with. In fact, as I write this, my neck is still sore.

Laugh all you want.

Forever friends - how long is forever?

2011-01-11T17:13:00.000+13:00

No, this post is not about the TV show.

Today on Facebook, I was very much surprised to see very tense comments on a friend's page. Funny thing was, these tense comments weren't random comments made to outsiders, but were targeted comments, insults and veiled threats, between people I have known and befriended since my high school years. These were the people that I would go fishing with, or take long trips to the countryside just to get coconuts from their family estates. We were beside each other in spite of the trials and tribulations of school life, with exams, girls, science experiments and school bullies all threatening to make it a living hell.

And today, after not speaking to each other for about 15 years, and reconnecting through Facebook, a smart comment here, an angry retort there, and very soon after - an invitation to fight it out if the other party had any further problems.

This leads me to explore the question - are friends really forever? Is it some sympathetic sap's idealistic vision seen through rose-coloured glasses that once you are friends with someone (even to the extent where you call him a brother), no matter how long apart you've been, things will always be the same?

Somehow, my experiences in life have proved otherwise.

It can be something you think is so simple - just a snide comment said as a joke, a small disagreement you have about something which to you is so trivial, being friends with someone who your friend has a problem with, or even just about a girl.

You remember those friends who you shared total truth and honesty with? Turns out some truths just aren't meant to be shared.

You remember those friends who could hold their own in a battle of wits and joking retorts? The ones who gave as good as they got? Well, turns out that some jokes may at some point cross that hidden line, that once crossed, there is no turning back.

Some people offer their theory that if such things were to happen, you were never really friends in the first place...

I beg to differ.

Think that you and your 'band or brothers' are so tight that you say "that will never happen to us. We're friends forever."

Friends forever? Come back to me in 15 years time and tell me then.

Life and Proposal

2011-01-05T12:54:00.002+13:00

When you're stuck at a proposal your life doesn't seem to move forward.

Ask that to the sweating man whose heart is pounding like a hammer while he is down on one knee, holding out a gold ring, waiting for the fateful answer...

It's like time stands still.

The same concept applies to the man in the office, sweating it out in the hot summer sun, shivering it out in the cold summer rain, typing and typing away, just so that a bunch of very highly placed professors get the chance to critique his work and shred it to bits before they give the OK for him to proceed with the next phase of his life.

That, dear friends, is the proposal.

And that is how I have been spending these past few months. It's not like I've been slogging day and night over it; I have had time to do other things, but I guess the combination of a few factors has made it seem rather daunting.

First off, I am now working on a deadline. I was supposed to have sent the proposal in on 31 December, but have asked for an extension due to the stresses and the perils of the recent earthquake. I asked for a month, and they very kindly gave me a month. It seems like I have been going on overdrive, but do not yet have the results to show for it, and the deadline is looming ever so closer.

Secondly, I will be going back to Malaysia in April (thus increasing my need to meet the deadline) to kill two birds with one stone - I will carry out my pilot study, and will also be back home for my sister's upcoming wedding. This is all well and good, but anyone living overseas with a family of four can attest to how expensive it is to transport them home for a single event. That is what is happening to me. It's a good (mixed blessing really, but still...) thing that Airasia has come to town. We can now fly direct from Christchurch to KLIA... but Airasia really needs to up its game.. let's leave it at that shall we?

Back to the story - because we finished up quite a sum of money for the fare, we now had to live on what I earned from my job... And couple that with the fact that I have been unemployed for the past 2 weeks, and will only resume my job in 2 weeks' time, this also means we have very little money to spend, which makes the whole process even more miserable...

And so the conclusion is, life and proposal are one.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... (medidative chanting)

Aku, Bini dan Ginger Beer

2010-10-23T19:16:00.000+13:00

Aku haus...

Tekakku yang kering ini menginginkan rasanya yang menenangkan jiwa itu...

Perasaannya apabila ku menggenggam botol kacanya yang sejuk dan berwap-wap dan mengangkatnya keluar peti ais kecilku, perasaannya seperti seorang kanak-kanak Taman Keramat memegang aiskrim Malaysia 10sen pada hari yang panas membara...

Riang... Nikmat... Penantian yang menyiksakan, tetapi penantian yang lazat...

Dengan pergerakan yang perlahan seperti 'slow-motion' dalam sinetron Indonesia kegemaran surirumah-surirumah di Malaysia, muncung botol Ginger Beer kegemaranku mampir bibirku yang terketar-ketar sedikit, sehinggalah aku dapat rasa cecair yang sejuk membasahi tekakku...

Nikmat...

Sedap tidak terperi...

Aku menghulurkan kepada biniku, dan dia juga meneguk kenikmatan...

Aku menadah tangan meminta kembali Ginger Beer kesayanganku yang berjenama Bundaberg buatan New Zealand.

Saat itu tidak tiba-tiba...

Aku tertanya-tanya... Mata terkebil-kebil...

"Ni saya punya ya Bang..." ujar biniku dengan penuh manja...

Aku kelu...

Aku pilu...

Menyesal aku perkenalkan bini aku kepada Ginger Beer Bunderberg.

Adel and his ball

2010-10-08T02:14:00.000+13:00

If you ask me now, I wouldn't really be able to tell what life was like back in Malaysia.

It's like it was another life altogether. To tell you the truth, the only bits and pieces that I do remember were going to work at uni, and then going to work tutoring the Koreans, and then going home, and then going to sleep... Oh of course there were the occasional nights out, movies, dinner and so on, but they seemed to pale in comparison to the crushing weight of work and responsibility.

And if you were to ask me what I remembered of my son back home, I would say I remember him sleeping when I went to work, and sleeping when I got back from work... but of course there would be the weekends that we would enjoy together, where I would take him to the lake gardens and we would go jogging together with his mother, and we would end the morning with a trip to the local Mamak restaurant, where he would order his favourite items on the menu without fail - roti telur with dhal, and iced Milo... And I thought that that was enough for someone in my situation, with my responsibilities. There didn't seem to be enough time to do much else... Or so the excuse goes...

Until one day his Uncle Bruce comes back from the US bringing with him a miniature American football, and started playing catch with my son... Something I'd never done before... And so the trend would continue, every time Uncle Bruce and Cik Ngah (Sameerah, my sister) visited my parents, Bruce would always play catch with Adel, teaching him the essential skills of ball-handling, or at least as much as you can teach a 3 year-old). It became their thing, and I did not begrudge them of that.

But I think, somewhere in a small corner of my heart, there was a part of me that wished that I could be the one playing ball with my son.. but very quickly another part took over and told me that I didn't have the patience...

I totally agreed... back then... but I told myself that I'd make time, sometime in the future...

Fast-forward a year on, and here I am in New Zealand.

It is a breezy Spring afternoon, and a rubber ball is at my feet. It is cold, and I suddenly realise I am half out of my mind being out in the garden in my shorts at 15 degrees Celsius in the shade. It's not so much the 15 degrees as it is the biting North-westerly wind blowing from the Antarctic.

The ball sways slightly against the wind, and the Bob the Builder motif bobs up and down in a rhythmic motion.

My son is standing five metres away from me, face full of concentration as he prepares to catch the ball that I am about the kick. Suddenly he laughs and giggles, and starts teaching me how to kick the ball.

I smile.

I did manage to keep my promise after all, that I'd make time to play ball with my son...

But now that I think about it, if I had continued what I had been doing back home, that promise would have never been fulfilled.

This PhD has turned out to be a blessing in more ways than one...

Now to get inside out of the cold... What on earth was I thinking wearing those shorts???

Reflections of Ramadhan and Eid Mubarak from quake-stricken Christchurch

2010-09-09T16:48:00.000+12:00

Image credit here

It is the last day of Ramadhan.

I pause to reflect on the events that have transpired this past month.

So many questions come to mind - Did I make full use of the Ramadhan? Did I manage to get closer to God? Was there anything that I could have done differently?

And the answer always seems to fall short of what I want.

It is not the not eating and drinking part that I have found difficult the past month. The challenge for me was more of the other aspects of Ramadhan: having to avert my eyes at impure sights ( a big challenge here), avoiding impure thoughts, and most of all, sustaining my supplementary prayers and du'a throughout the entire month.

But Alhamdulillah, I am glad to report that I did manage the latter - I almost always managed to pray and additional solat taubah and solat hajat after my tarawih, and an additional solat taubah and hajat after Subuh prayers. Of this I am infinitely grateful that Allah gave me the strength and will-power to accomplish this - something that I had never been able to do throughout my life.

Of the Quran, I managed to finish 16 juz... Though not as much reading done as my Muslim brethren who finished reading the Quran two or even three times this month, it is a personal best for me since my childhood days. Throughout my adult life (including my time as a student and as a professional), I had never been able to get past a few juz in Ramadhan. There was always work, assignments, things to do, too tired.. there was always something that I told myself, just so that I could justify not reading the Quran. However I do realise that I could have read so much more...

In retrospect, even though I managed to do all the above this Ramadhan, one single aspect evades me. When I think about it, I find that I did not do just that - think. I read the Quran, and I prayed all the supplementary prayers, but I did not spend enough time just sitting down, contemplating, meditating, just thinking about Him. It may sound strange to many people, but that is the truth that I concede - I did all those things for Him, but I just did not spend enough time WITH Him... Wish I could explain it better, but I can't.

And lastly, I am grateful to the Almighty for saving me and my family from the effects of the worst earthquake New Zealand had ever seen in 70 years. It could have been so much worse... Thank you Lord...

To all Muslims all around the world, I wish you Eid Mubarak. May the preceding Ramadhan be the best you have had to gain spiritual enlightenment and closeness to the Creator.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

Day 5 - from building to body

2010-09-08T07:38:00.000+12:00

As I am writing this I feel weak, not able to concentrate properly. Only my strong desire to chronicle my experience here has given me the push to type out this entry on my iPhone.

It's still relatively under control, this thing my body is experiencing. Yesterday night, it started with burning and spasming in my stomach. I just couldn't sit upright. Lying down made the pain bearable.

It was now 1130pm, a time when I would usually pray my supplementary Tarawih prayers for Ramadhan, but I just didn't have the strength for it.

And so I slept.

Or try to sleep. The dreams I have just keep on referring to the burning in my stomach. I can't remember the last time it hurt this bad. An aftershock rocks the house slightly.

I wake up at 3.30 in the morning to a dream that was very unnerving - I dreamt that my stomach acids had burnt away my stomach and mouth. I shake off the dream, and drag myself to make ablutions and pray my Tarawih.

As I pray, every movement seems like swimming in lead. It takes almost superhuman strength to complete the 8 raka'ats, and I even push myself to make an additional 2 raka'ats for tahajjud.

After that I sleep.

6 am, I wake up for dawn prayers. I have a long day ahead of me. Teaching from morning until afternoon as I have to replace a colleague on leave. Then I have physio. And tonight we all have a meeting with the Malaysian High Commissioner.

I try to get myself ready, but I can't. I start purging.

That confirms it then.. I have gastroenteritis, contracted by drinking from a polluted water source - effects of the burst warer pipes and sewage system from the earthquake.The news talked about it yesterday. I never realised I would be one of those affected.

I can't make it to work today.

I text my boss and pray to God she can find a replacement in time.

Update - Day 3

2010-09-07T01:36:00.000+12:00

It is now the third day into the Canterbury Earthquake crisis.

Only now are we beginning to grasp the full extent of the damage and trauma Cantabrians face.

So far there have been 15,000 insurance claims on damages, and a full 50% of the homes in Canterbury have been damaged in some way.

As I watch the news, my heart goes out to those whose homes have been totally demolished, or condemned. Homes, old and new, some worth a million dollars or more per house, all gone in the blink of an eye. Some have no electricity, no toilet facilities, no running water.

Stories have cropped up today of so many close calls, of bricks falling down exactly where there people's heads had been just moments before, some of people suddenly falling into silt and quicksand, but managing to to escape.

Many were in tears as the news crews interviewed them, voices shaking, still reeling from the shock at the events that had transpired over the past three days.

Even my fellow Malaysians here were not spared, though this only applied to a few families. One Malaysian postgrad jumped through the window and cut his leg. Others report of broken TVs and other household items. One undergrad went hysterical and called home, totally blowing things out of proportion. In his/her (I'm not sure) call it was mentioned that they were stranded, cut off, with no food and water... Bollocks... that undergrad made a lot of trouble for the MSD here. The parent pulled strings high up in the Ministry. They got the impression that MSD was not doing its duty here. Calls were made. Trouble was brewed.And when Dr Rosli, the MSD director came over from Wellington to inspect the situation, he saw nothing of the sort, except for frightened students who just wanted to go back to their mothers.

However, I must concede that it was almost a miracle that no one was killed. A 7.1 magnitude quake. Buildings collapsing. Deadly combination. But total disaster managed to be averted due to a few factors. First, the quake happened in the wee hours of the morning, when everyone was at home sleeping. It it had happened during the day, the death toll would have been considerable. Second, because of the sparsity of the population, houses here are spaced widely between each other. People are spaced widely between each other as compared to the quakes in Indonesia, where if you throw a stick up in the air, it is bound to hit an Indonesian. Also, due to this, there is less need for high-rise buildings. Most houses here are single-story houses. And lastly, Kiwi workmanship is good.

As for me, I am just thankful that the area where I live did not suffer too much damage. In fact, we got off relatively scot free.

It's just the periodic rumbling and shaking that unnerves me, even after three days.

Aftermath

2010-09-05T13:12:00.000+12:00

Picture: Manchester Street, just off where I work. Very thankful the language centre is OK

It is now a full day since the monumentous earthquake rocked Canterbury, and Cantabrians find themselves changed forever. The safety and sanctity of their idyllic little world came crashing down the very instant the first brick dislodged and disintigrated onto the ground.

The city centre is now in lockdown. There is a police curfew in effect from 7pm to 7am, relegating Christchurch to become a ghost town after dark. Businesses are expected to be closed for at least a week. My language centre is closed for a few days at least. The University of Canterbury declared a closure until Monday the 13th.

And yet, be that as it may, I see Cantabrians still getting on with life. The streets are a lot quiter, and there aren't as many people jogging, but the mail is still sent, flyers from supermarkets about their latest price promotions still litter the lawn, dogs are still being walked.

Life seems to have returned to normal, though at a slightly more subdued pace.

However, the prognosis is bleak, though not dire. The bad weather seems to have just started, and I see thick clouds in place. It is cold today, and I have switched on an extra heater in the living room. Winds haven't started yet, but the met service predicts strong gusts up to 120kmph today and tomorrow.

The people whose homes were damaged in the quake would be affected the most. Most of them are in relief centres stretched across the suburbs where they are given food and a warm place to sleep. But it is not that that makes them most affected. It is that they will never be able to feel completely safe and secure in their own homes again, or at least for a very long time.

I am lucky the quake did not do significant damage to my house or my neighbourhood.

But no matter how many times I go through them, I am still not accustomed to the aftershocks which still make the house tremble, even a day and a half after the event of the quake.

As yesterday, even as I type this entry, I hear a deep boom in the distance, which is followed by the rattling of the house.

I think the worst is over, but the experience itself is still far from it.

The end of the world - what a 7.1 magnitude earthquake feels like at 4.35am

2010-09-04T19:53:00.000+12:00

Never have I felt totally powerless against the awe of Nature, before the might of God.

I awake up with a jolt. Pitch black. A roaring sound in my ears and the house shaking on its very foundations.

I do not comprehend what is happening.

My heart thumps like a hammer on an anvil.

I draw the curtain, and what I see stops my heart. Darkness...and a sudden flash of light... like something exploding in the distance... And then the heater suddenly switches off. And the street lights blink and die. My mind still does not know what forces are assaulting it.

Earthquake? But what was that explosion?

Was it a plane crash?

Is is the end of the world?...

Total pitch darkness.

And the roaring continues, filling my ears with cacophony and my heart with dread.

The house continues to shake in waves.

With no electricity and the outside temperature being 1 degree Celcius, my mind starts to panic. No electricity in Malaysia means a pitch black night of sweltering heat, sweat, and no TV. No electricity in NZ in late winter means a pitch black night, and no heating, which means shivering in the cold hoping the morning would come soon.

And it does.. eventually.

I am in shock...

Christchurch is in shock.

Never has it been hit by an earthquake in before, let alone one of 7.1 on the richter scale.

The day has passed.

We are all recovering, but it will be a long night ahead.

A storm is brewing, due to hit Christchurch in full force starting tonight. Temperatures as low as -2, but feeling like -12 degrees due to windchill. Gale-force winds blowing at 120km/hr.. all starting tonight.

Even as I type this I hear a deep rumbling, and the house shakes for a few seconds. It is an unnerving feeling, just waiting for the aftershocks to come... If anyone has ever lived near a quarry, they would be familiar with the incessant blasting of rocks using TNT... Except this time the ground you walk on is doing all the exploding.

It makes you feel small, and realise how powerless you are before the Majesty of God... How you can have totally no control of the events unfolding before you... And you lay totally at the mercy of the Creator, to determine what will happen to you in the course of every nerve-wracking second.

It is a sobering feeling.

I pray to the Lord to protect me from all harm.

SHOWCASE10

2010-09-03T00:26:00.000+12:00

Click... First slide comes on and I'm in the zone.

As I open my mouth and greet the audience all the apprehension that I faced the night before seemed unfounded.

I was in the zone. Each point was explained in just enough detail to get the audience interested, and keep them interested. All the points that needed to be highlighted were emphasised with clarity and precision. And best of all, I reached the end of my presentation at exactly the same time as the timekeeper's bell.

Toastmasters trained me well.

And at the end of it all, it was just so rewarding to get the audience asking questions, and telling me afterwards that they were amazed at how much passion I had for my topic.

The thing is, I was getting bored of the topic and wanted to modify it, but they didn't need to know that...

I finish my slot, and head out of the door, ready to go to work... Satisfied and happy with my first conference presentation outside Malaysian soil.

Of chins and Ramadhan

2010-08-21T19:57:00.000+12:00

It is now past the 10 day mark of the fasting month.

I take stock of what Ramadhan has meant to me so far.

So far, I am on my 5th Juz of the Quran, which makes my progress slow compared to what my parents are doing, which I'm sure is more than 1 juz a day. Note to self - need to spend time to read more Quran.

Alhamdulillah, I think I am lucky to be able to pray 2 raka'ats of tahajjud before Subuh, and 2 raka'ats of Taubah after Subuh almost every day. I know it isn't much compared to what so many of my brothers and sisters in Islam are doing to show their devotion to God, but I am doing what is manageable to me, and InshaAllah, God willing, I will be able to step up my 'amal more and more as we progress further. A very wise person once told me that the best way to achieve overall spirituality is not a heaped dose of 'amal, which fades as time goes by simply because it is difficult to maintain. The best way is to do what you can, and making sure you are comfortable doing it in the long run.

That is what I am trying to achieve this Ramadhan - continuity.

Also there is the matter of my chin... Before the fasting month it was on its way to shrinking, but after a week of fasting, it would seem that it wants to split itself into two again...Hmmm.. must be the odd eating hours...

awww shucks...

Once a teacher always a teacher - Part 2

2010-08-12T22:59:00.000+12:00

I step into the classroom.

I see four students looking up at me, a little puzzled, and perhaps a little apprehensive. I wouldn't blame them of course because that was the first time they saw me, and they would have had no idea what to expect.

But I took it all in stride, as an experienced teacher should. I smiled and greeted everyone. It was nice to see them smiling back. I knew that I was going to like them immediately.

For me, the first lesson is always the most important to build unit cohesion. Simply put, this is the ideal time to make them like you and trust you with their learning. And it is also the best time you get to know them as individuals.

There were four in the class.

Bronwyn mentioned that winter was a hard season for the centre, because the enrolment numbers usually dropped.

The first student was a Japanese man in his late 30s or early 40s. His name was Norifumi, and he was a full-time guardian to his daughter in NZ. I wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say because his vocabulary was a little limited, but from what I gathered, his wife had only just passed guardianship to him (which probably meant he was divorced), and that his daughter went to school here in NZ. Apparently he was a realtor back in Japan.
{Amendment: I just got to know that he and his wife take turns to become guardian, as in one takes care of the daughter, and the other takes care of their business in Kobe, Japan}

The second was a lovely Japanese lady named Rie. She was also in her 30s, and probably somewhere around my age. Her story was equally interesting. Her husband has a law firm in Japan, and she used to work as a secretary there. What was she doing in NZ? I asked. She answered that she wanted to put her son in school here. I had the impression that she was looking to stay long-term, though I'm not quite sure. Her husband was also in NZ, but only for another month until he went back to Japan. I find it fascinating that the Japanese have such mobility in the world.

The third was also a Japanese man. Very young, early 20s. Painfully shy, though not so much because he was shy, but simply because he struggled with his English. My heart went out to him as I saw him struggle to put a few words together to form a sentence. It wasn't that he didn't understand English. It was just that he couldn't produce the language well. My heart went out to him further when I discovered that he wasn't wealthy like the other two. He was in NZ to 'change his life'. Apparently he was a cleaner in Japan, and wanted to move to greener pastures NZ. But he was really, really struggling to find a job. He couldn't even get a cleaning job, which came as a surprise to me because how much communication do you need to have to clean? I resolved that I was going to help him in his quest to communicate better and ultimately get a job.

And finally there was a very young Arab schoolboy from Saudi Arabia, who just wanted to be known as Bibo. His family were on holiday in NZ, and he was there to learn English. He was a nice boy, and very polite. He reminded me of my youngest brother in a way.

After the class ended, I knew I had done a good job. I knew for certain that I enjoyed the lesson and that they had learnt something, but I wasn't exactly sure what the students thought.

The answer came from an email later in the day:
Hi Abdullah,
Yes the students enjoyed your class as well so I'm glad you found the
experience positive as well.

If it's possible can you continue with them next week in the afternoon?
The hours are 1:15 to 2:30 Mon to Thurs. Plus you have the Wednesday morning
in the Intermediate class.

I smiled...

That would be at least another 4-5 weeks that I have a job...

Let's hope the numbers go up!

If ever anyone feels like they want to come to NZ to study English, well, here's the place to go!

http://www.turningpoint.ac.nz/

Once a teacher always a teacher?

2010-08-10T22:57:00.000+12:00

I don't know whether it was meant to be, or if it was fate, or divine intervention.

Initially, I thought that I could focus a hundred percent on my PhD and not having to do anything anything else, but it soon became clearer and clearer that I was running out of options. My bank account was bleeding to death, and I knew I would soon follow if the situation were not remedied.

I tried a few things - tried to get marking jobs for lecturers, or to teach part-time in any university subjects.. any job at the university would have done.. but it just wasn't meant to be.
I was like a fish out of water. They didn't have TESL-related disciplines here, otherwise I could have done well.. In the College of Education they had art-related disciplines, of which I barely have any experience. Even the Drama in Education that I taught in UTM were language-based, and not arts-based. I couldn't teach English.. well.. because it's an English speaking-country! Or so I thought...

Answer to equation = I was screwed...

But one day, as I was looking through the job ads online my heart skipped a beat when I saw an advert for a language centre.. teaching foreign students! That was exactly my forte!!! I looked up the website and immediately liked what I saw... It was a nice, small centre, privately owned, and the pictures showed a nice cozy atmosphere... Immediately I knew I had to apply for it.

And so I did.

I put together the resume that I had previously used (quite an impressive one i must add!), and emailed it.

And to my surprise I got an answer the early next day!

It was a very pleasant response, very different to the formal responses I have had from bigger language centres in the past. I immediately liked the person on the other end, though I wasn't even sure who she was. As it turns out, she was the owner/operator of the language centre!
She immediately arranged for an appointment for the next day. I was impressed!

And my intuition was smack bang head on... Bronwyn Hardaker (the owner) was a pleasant lady in her 50s but still full of vibrant energy, something that I notice in most Kiwis, that they live long healthy lives, usually up to their 80s or 90s! She was warm and welcoming, and the best thing was that I could see she was genuinely pleased to have me there. It was certainly a nice change from language centre operators who are so high and mighty and think they are doing us a favour by giving us a job. In Bronwyn's case, her genuineness made me feel like I belonged, even though we had only just met. After a short discussion, she gave me a class to teach the next day, just to see how I would fit in.

Immediately I said yes.

Yes.. definitely divine intervention...

That I happened to find the advertisement..

That I am a fully qualified English language teacher in an English-speaking country...

That I am a native English language speaker by virtue of being born and raised in the UK...

Thanks for that Mum and Dad :)

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To Sir with love

2010-08-07T11:34:00.000+12:00

Sir..

That's what my students would call me.

A strange title in an English speaking country as it would mean I would be nobility, but in Malaysia, it is a title usually reserved for male English teachers.

I recently saw something which put a lump in my throat a few days ago - it was a song from Glee. Yes, I watch Glee, and no, it is not pathetic. Those of you who don't or better yet haven't, I suggest giving it a try and see what happens.

Anyway, the song was a remake of an old song sung by Lulu - 'To Sir with Love'. I saw that movie when I was a small kid, and I even though I could understand what the movie was about, I could not fully appreciate it.

Add twenty years and a teaching career down the line, and try revisit the movie.. Or just happen to watch the song on Glee... and you remember what teaching is all about.

It's not about you.

It's about the students.

Because in the end, they make you.

As I watched the video, a huge lump started to form in my throat.

I saw in all the faces sitting down and singing the faces of my own students, each with their own quirks and idiosyncracies, from all the classes that I had ever taught. Each with their own lives and their own careers. Each becoming who they are because I had personally touched their lives, and they mine.

I smile, and a single tear rolls down my face...

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Kia ora from Aotearoa

2010-07-24T00:37:00.000+12:00

Aotearoa... Land of the long white cloud...

The first sight that greeted me as I stepped off the plane in Auckland was beautiful vista of clear blue sky. It was cool, but much warmer than what I had expected winter to be. In fact, it was almost like a cool, sunny spring morning in my memories of my time in the UK.

I had spent 11 hours on the plane and crossed God knows how many time zones, but it was all sinking in... All the waiting, all the pain and frustration in the previous months... seemed to dissipate as it finally dawned on me that I was finally here.

One of the very first things that I noticed was the consistent reminder to 'Declare it' in the airport. Apparently, you have to declare anything that may be food, or originally organic, and chances are you would be expected to throw everything away before you get to cross the Customs and Immigration.

A bit harsh I thought.

My travel companion told me the story of how the Indian national cricket team were fined for having dirty shoes... I mean... COME ON!!

But, as i got to know the country further, that's just how things are around here. Kiwis are serious about keeping their country clean and free of foreign contaminants. And by that I mean ANY form of foreign contaminant, be they as big as a horse or as small as a virus.

Anyhow, I knew it was going to be a long day. I had to wait an additional four hours for my connecting flight to Christchurch. And so wait I did. I explored the airport. Bought a sim-card to use with my iPhone. It was fun - exploring new territory. Everything was new. Everything was exciting. I almost didn't hear my tired body begging me for sleep. I was far too excited, but I knew payback would come later.

Everything was exciting, that was, until I got thirsty and wanted to get a drink. I headed to the nearest kiosk and looked at the prices... $4.50 for a Coke... $4 for mineral water... times that by 2.35 and you get RM10 for a Coke!!! Then my tummy started rumbling, and I decided to look for the cheapest food I could find... Sandwiches... What I saw made my knees tremble... $8 for a simple sandwich... a whopping RM19 for a SANDWICH??? You've got to be joking!!! At this stage I wondered if I would ever eat again... Ever...

So I slapped my tummy and told it to shut up...And prepared for the long wait ahead...

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Going (written on a Boeing 747 at 16000 feet)

2010-07-18T15:34:00.001+12:00

It all seems surreal.

I am now 16000 feet up in the air traveling at 535km per hour.

Just an hour ago I was joking around with my family, posing for photos that Dad always takes wih his ever handy DSLR, receiving pats on the back that usually accompany well- wishes of good luck and success...

Just an hour ago that I embraced my loving wife and two beautiful boys.

Adam of course didn't have an inkling to what was going on. I was just so happy to get to kiss him without him being asleep, or squrming and screaming for the comfort of his mother's bosom.

And Adel.. Adel almost broke my heart.. He followed me everywhere I went. He wouldn't even let go of my hand, and even came up with so many polite excuses to follow Daddy.

The loving faces of my parents.. And my siblings..

All locked away, etched into the very deepest recesses of my mind..

The memory that I will hold on to for the next three years.

I didn't know that leaving would be this hard..

(Backdated entry)

Long wait over

2010-06-24T18:23:00.000+12:00

The clock is ticking.

I am counting the precious hours I have left with my family before I start the next chapter of my life in the land of the Kiwis.

It's all been crazy after the euphoria of getting the news that my Student visa was finally approved, though only for two years.. this would mean that for my third year there I would have to get the whole circus running again, taking the medical exams etc.

But, for the moment, I am as good as there.

Plane ticket... check.

Temporary accommodations... check.

Sell my car... check.

The list goes on and on.

So much to do in so little time.

Less than two days to go...

And I have yet to pack.

Midnight drive

2010-05-24T02:45:00.000+12:00

Finally contractions started at 11pm yesterday.

12.45am this morning Dad drove me and Sal to the Hospital.

1.35am finish registration. Go up to the maternity wards and find wife fully engaged and prepped for Labour Room.

She is in so much pain.

I can only hug her and kiss her before they cart her off to the Labour Room.

I wait.

I try to rest.

I try to sleep.

My chest feels tight.

I wait.

Hours pass by, each minute seeming like an eternity, as countless worries creep into my mind.

How is she doing? Are they in danger? Were there any complications? Will I see her again in the morning?

These thoughts course through my veins like poison, filling my mind with worry and dread.

I wait...

Until finally, the nurse calls me to go through the doors.

It is 3.45am.

I get up. Each step feels surreal. Until I walk through the doors to the Labour Room.

And see my wife... and my little boy.

I embrace them, letting all the worries of the night evaporate into the cold, air-conditioned room. My tiredness is gone, tough I know the night is still far from over. But all that matters is here and now, the woman who for nine months bore this small, mini me, inside her.

Finally I pick up my son, and kiss him.

Welcome to the world, Adam Ameen Abdullah.

May your journey through this life be blessed, always.

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One thing you can't beat here

2010-05-10T15:09:00.000+12:00

Although moving in with my parents takes more than a little adjustment, there is one thing that you can't beat here.

It's the ability to take your work literally outdoors.

Right now, it's 10.30am on a Monday morning. I've attended the monthly address by the UTM Vice-Chancellor, made a few important phone calls, and had breakfast.

Only thing is I realise I made a boo-boo.

The key to my room/office is attached to the keyring that holds my car-keys.

My car-keys are used for my car.

My car is being used by my wife.

This would mean:
1.0 I have no keys to my office
  1.1 I cannot enter my office
  1.2 I cannot do the work that I have to do
  1.3 Feeling sheepish, and a little annoyed. Perfect for a palm-to-forehead moment.

2.0 I am using my bike
  2.1 I look frickin'cool wearing an all black suit, black half-cut gloves and a deep-red full-face racing helmet, racing along on what appears to be a superbike.
  2.2 I do not feel secure lugging around my laptop on my bike, as the previous painful theft of my university Macbook has taught me that you can never be too careful with laptops. I had to pay replace that by the way.
   2.2.1 I do not bring my laptop to work, thinking I could always just use the computer in my office. Belatedly I realise I do not have a key to my office.
   2.2.1.1 I really must fight the urge to slap my forehead.

3.0 I cannot do anything productive at the office
  3.1 Because of the reasons above, I am forced to go back home (my parents' place) and start working there.

And so, here I am, outside, with laptop open under the gazebo, complete with tethered Internet connection (courtesy of my iPhone), in the garden, on a beautiful Monday morning, enjoying the beautiful scenery while typing on my laptop.

Ahh.. Ain't much that can top that I assure you.

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Midnight jogs no more

2010-05-09T04:44:00.000+12:00

It's a big change having to adjust to living with my parents again.

Basically having to uproot and move everything back to Skudai. Of course I'm no stranger to Skudai. I work here and go to my parents' house every other day after work before I left for home in Kulai.

But living here and dropping in every other day are totally different things.

I have still to adjust.

Right now I have no fixed schedule. There is still a lot to unpack. I do not know when I get up and when and where I can go for my usual walks. There is still no rhythm, no routine.

One of the things that I realise that I have taken for granted was that my old house was in gated and guarded, in a very nice neigbourhood.

It used to be that I could do just about anything I wanted to at any time I wanted to, though that may not be a good thing to some people. What I mean is, let's say if I felt like I hadn't exercised in a particular week, and the feeling hit me at 12 midnight, all I had to do was put on a pair of running shoes and I would jog around the neighbourhood, past the guardhouse, past the driving range, past the clubhouse, right down to the bottom of the hill to the gate of the Club compound, turn round and head back up again uphill and straight home.. that would usually rack up a nice sweat... About 2km give or take. Or I could just walk to the the basketball court about 100m away and shoot some hoops. Or just take a leisurely stroll, taking care to avoid the houses where there were big dogs of course. They are such a pain in the ass when they bark incessantly just because you walk by their master's houses.

But I can't seem to do that here (except for the dog part I mean. That you can get anywhere).

A bit too dangerous in this neighbourhood at night.

Mum once got her handbag nicked while she was still in the car.

Little brother once got mugged by a group of Indian thugs on motorbikes.

Another brother once got into a fight between two rival gangs here.

Although nothing bad has happened yet (and I'm not thinking it will) it's still like a whole different world here, away from the sheltered confines of my beautiful home, gated and guarded, where a nice Singaporean family has taken residence as my tenants.

Yes, I'm definitely still adapting.

Memories of home.

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A long walk, and a new addition

2010-05-05T20:19:00.000+12:00

My sister Sameerah and her husband Bruce have just welcomed their daughter, Nichola Jannah Wallace into the world, after a worrying day and a half where little Nichola had to be warded in the neo-natal intensive care unit.

It just so happens that God allowed me the opportunity to be in KL for a conference at the right time, though there were some hurdles along the way that I had to face.

First off, I had to walk for about 5km from KLCC to Prince Court Medical Centre, based on terrible directions from a information receptionist who so obviously never walks anywhere. When I asked her how long it would take me to go from KLCC to Prince Court, she looked a bit perplexed, and said “Mmmmm... think about... 10 minutes?”

10 minutes my A**...

It took 45minutes.

And 5km..

On foot...

In the rain...

Wearing work clothes...

Sigh...

But I finally got there... in the end.

But it was worth it to get to see my sister and brother-in-law, and of course, little Nichola.

Welcome to the world my niece.

May God bless you always.

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Pause to reflect

2010-04-28T20:53:00.000+12:00

I am packing my room/office.

We are going to move out of our house tomorrow.

This house, where we have shared so much joy and laughter, me, my son and my wife... my family.

All of a sudden, a harrowing sense of sadness threatens to overwhelm me.

We are moving out of our family home, to rent it out to complete strangers (a nice enough family but still), and I will be uprooting my wife and son from everything we've ever known as a family.

We will be staying with my parents is Skudai. My son will transfer to the Skudai branch of his kindergarten, having to start over again with new teachers and new friends. My wife will now have to travel the arduous 30-45minute journey to her school from Skudai, heading out at 6.15am in case of the jam.

Strangers in a strange land.

And for what? A chance that we can go overseas to NZ. A guarantee? No... As much as I hate to admit it, this uncertainty is tearing away at my soul, and I can't help but wonder... What am I doing? What am I doing to my family?

What if this NZ thing does not go through? What if we're stuck at my parents' home with no way to get back to our own because we have already leased it out for 3 years?

We have sold our cars.

We have leased out the house.

We have cut credit cards, made arrangements to cut services, basically cutting everything we have just for the chance to go to NZ.

So many risky gambits I am now taking, over something that should have been so easy, but has been made ultimately difficult.

I am bitter.

I resume packing.

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More Information Please

2010-04-26T15:43:00.000+12:00

It has been three agonising months just doing what NZ Immigration has asked me to do, and waiting for the damn results from the medical assessors to be returned.

Call up NZ Immigration this morning.

Answer from NZ Immigration "Sorry, the medical examiner needs more information. They need a liver function test, and a hepatitis test. Sorry you're going to have to call up the university and ask them to postpone the starting date for a while".

I am crushed.

Not as bad as a full out rejection, but still bad.

This means a few more hundred/thousand ringgit on useless tests, with still no guarantee of anything by the end of it.

This means waiting another month after I do the tests to see if I need to do more tests, or if I am through, or if I am rejected.

This means another whole month of worrying.

This means another whole month of answering the onslaught of the usual friendly question - "So when are you going?".

I think I'm almost burnt out and jaded by this whole affair.

Come on... I'm just going there for a bloody PhD for God's sakes! Not migrating or anything...

Seriously...

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Make RM* a day logging on to *****???

2010-04-25T18:29:00.000+12:00

It's a dream come true for many people to have the ability to make money out of thin air.

Heck it's even my dream too...

But, unlike some of my respected friends and colleagues, I believe that a money-making system has to be verifiable and sustainable.

Reason? I've been burned before.

By whom? This ratty thieving company called IPC that market this ratty scheme called Em-Pay. How do you do it? May sound familiar to many of you. Buy in at so and so amount. Get people to buy in at so and so amount. Wait for the money to roll in. As long you keep on rolling in the suckers, you get their share of money. When you stop reeling in suckers, your money stops too.

Except with this ratty company, I didn't even get what I invested in back.

Bastards.

Anyhow, any of this sound familiar?

I'm sure it does.

Right now, there's a very successful one going round in a popular Social Networking Site (SNS). It sort of goes like this: Make RM*** a day logging on to *******.

At first glance it sounds promising. What does the advert tell you to do? Just log in, and get RM***. Simple right?

Actually no.

What happens is, you have to invest RM*** first, and when you get someone to invest under you, you get back a portion of the same amount.

Ahh... So that's the catch. What then?

Well, all you have to do is keep getting more people to invest under you, and you keep getting money.

Ahh... But... What do you invest in?

Well... here is the best part - you invest in the license to make other people invest in the license to make other people invest in the license.

Huh?... Wait... so that means, I don't really invest in anything at all?

No.. Sorry you don't.

So how do you roll the money, as what you normally do in a legit business?

Sorry, you don't. You just take other people's money.

So what do you do when people start demanding returns?

Well, you tell them they are stupid, and say something like "How can you expect to make money if you don't get other people to invest??? Sheesh!".

Invest in what?

You know... the license to make other people invest in the license to make other people invest in the license.

Oh...

....

I think I'll pass.

(Sorry to anyone who may feel slighted in anyway. This isn't about you guys. It's about my own personal experience. No offense yeah?)

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Wordpress depressed

2010-04-23T05:26:00.000+12:00

I just started dabbling into the other side (the Dark Side for us Blogspotters).

Yes, I confess, I have started looking to Wordpress to advance my blogging needs. It's just that people say Wordpress is where it's at if one really wants to blog. A friend of mine in Melbourne said that Wordpress users didn't have to dabble in HTML (as seen in my previous post), and that everything was done for them, just like that.

Well, I really had to check that out.

So here I am, with two new Wordpress blogs under my belt - one a mirror of this site, and the other a professional project blog for practicing and aspiring teachers and educators for us to exchange ideas and information (click on the links I have provided - one in the picture slider, and the other a free link). And guess what - This is what I found.

1) Really cool point - Wordpress has the ability not only to host blogposts, but also pages. This means it can function like a website (though with very limited functionality). If one is able to tweak it well, one could even get the feeling that the blog was not really a blog after all. However, there is a catch. I will explain shortly.

2) Really cool point - Wordpress has the ability to insert the said pages at the header, like links on a real website. It looks really cool at first glance, and would have been something I would have drooled over had I not learnt hacking Blogger HTML. As you can see in this blog here, I can do that too (albeit a bit more trial and error, thus taking a longer time to do).

3) Cool point - Wordpress templates have a distinct 'classy' feel to them.

4) Cool point - Wordpress gives you the ability to use your own domain (like my http://www.theteachertrainer.com) to host its blog. This means that you can get your blog to look like theteachertrainer.com, instead of theteachertrainer.wordpress.com.

5) Uncool point - As with all cool things in life, nothing is free. To get that .com domain hosting your Wordpress blog, it costs USD9.97, on top of the USD10.99 per year for your .com domain. Big bucks for us poor Malaysians here I'm afraid. People in the US and the UK just gobble up web domains like crazy because for them it's so cheap. For us, it's about a week's worth of food... Talk about unfair huh?

6) Really uncool point - I don't know how to bloody well do anything on Wordpress. It's like going to a foreign country without a map, or a translator. Everything is trial and error. Right now it feels like everything on Blogger is easier, as I have been blogging here for 3 years now. It should get better with time (I hope).

7) Really, really uncool point - I don't know anything about the programming language here. It's called CSS. They say it's easier, but I am banging my head on the wall every second of the day! I don't even know how to customise!

8) Really, really, really uncool point - You CAN'T CUSTOMISE unless you already host your own site, where you can host your Wordpress blog, instead of using Wordpress's own server. This means you would have to fork out about USD10 per month, which would mean about USD120 per year, which would be around RM430. Even the most basic code hacks cannot be done without this!

Verdict - It may be simple to start a basic Wordpress blog, but if you have started dabbling in HTML for your Blogger and are used to having the freedom to shape your blog however you want, then Wordpress may feel like a bit of a let-down.

Unless you have at least RM600 a year to burn of course... Learning downtime not included...

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HTML masochism

2010-04-20T05:04:00.000+12:00

HTML is painful.

Ask anyone who has ever tried to learn it.

Your coding has to be immaculate, or the script will not load. Your tags at the beginning have to have the appropriate tags at the end. Make a single small error, and you may find yourself crawling inch by inch, scrutinising every letter in the code, trying to figure out what went wrong.

While you are involved in the process, you will inevitably start doing a few other things too.
First among these other things is finding yourself without enough sleep. Your brain starts to shut down bit by bit, and things start to become a wooly haze. You see people's mouths moving, but you struggle to understand what they are saying... This is bad... This by itself should deter anyone but the most hardcore fanatics from even looking at HTML coding.

Next, you may suffer from rosy cheeks. This does not come from a glowing complexion of someone who has just spent their evenings jogging at the local lake gardens... No, this one comes from slapping yourself in the face for one of two reasons - either you are too sleepy and you try to slap yourself awake, or you are just expressing your frustrations in a more colourful manner.

Finally, you may spend your nights sleeping on the couch, as your wife will not let you in the room on account of you sleeping by the computer for the past week. Enough said...

HTML is mind-boggling, especially to newbies like me who have never learnt HTML in their lives, or even read a book on HTML. We are the masochists. We learn at an agonisingly slow pace, making mistake after mistake after mistake. Yet we still do it for the challenge and the rewards promised.

HTML is painful...

(Cracks knuckles)

Hehehe... Bring it on....

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Literary nightmare, literally...

2010-04-19T01:23:00.000+12:00

The semester has drawn to a close, and as always the students feel a need to celebrate after completing their final paper.

It is a time of joy and happiness. A time where they get to know that their sleepless nights studying and completing assignments has paid off.

Here I am, at the KFC in Jusco here in Taman Universiti, with a group of my First Year TESL students, having the time of my life talking with them about how the semester had been for them. We all joke about and tell funny stories, recollecting the good and the not so good times we had during the semester... And then to wrap things up, they ask me to make a formal speech.

Everyone pipes down and focuses their attention to me.

I look around the table, focus on each smiling face, and suddenly feel myself transported to the times when I was in class with them...

They were a mixed bunch, some very good, some good, some not so, and some quite bad in terms of language proficiency and ability to analyse literature. I remember pushing them hard in class, in their assignments, in their presentations, even in their social network pages. Sometimes I was at wits end just trying make sure they were able to analyse, interpret, and substantiate their views, because they were just so used to very superficial analyses practiced in secondary schools. In every class I was always on about how they had to go deeper into the text, to analyse the text inside and outside, to form matured opinions and be able to express them like adults, instead of schoolchildren...

But in the end they made it...

And my consciousness flashes back to the present, to the smiling eyes waiting for me to speak. Each pair a filled with promise and hope, to fulfill their destinies as future builders of the nation's future.

I am so proud of them.

I smile, and start my speech...

Memories of Kuwait Al-Hur

2010-04-17T04:03:00.000+12:00

Image credit here.

Dust and sand... Dust and sand... Dust and sand... Thus the gathering 'toos' (sandstorm) swirls in the wind gathering unbridled momentum, angry and pulsing with life. It was as if the sandstorm had become a living entity, an embodiment of the life-force of the desert sands - harsh, unrelenting, and totally out of man's control... I stared unblinking as the fury of nature unleashed wave upon wave of unnerving howls, each wail seeming like a call from souls lost in the vast expanse of the unforgiving desert...

I thanked the Lord above that I was safe indoors, in the sanctuary of the room I shared with two others in the student hostel, our 'sakan'. It was a paradox of states, as if two forces were struggling to collide and merge with one another, one the peace and serenity of the sanctuary found indoors, and the other the pure untamed wilderness of Nature. I stared on, eyes wide with the fear of a man who is confronted with a new element in his world that he does not understand - terrified, yet somehow fascinated by the display of pure energy...

Until at last, the howling subsides.

As the swirling dust begins to settle I mentally prepare myself for a visual aftermath of the carnage.

Instead, what confronts me is something totally unexpected.

It is dusk, a time when the sun would be shining her (in Arabic, the sun is referred to as a she, and the moon a he) last rays. In front of me is a sight too beautiful to behold. It was as if the whole world had turned a deep magenta hue, purplish red, from the sky to the very ground. And if I thought it could not become any more beautiful, the streetlights suddenly flickered to life, and I gasped in awe... The landscape suddenly became dotted with tiny lights, like stars in a red sky, except this glorious display was coming from the ground...

So utterly beautiful...

I asked myself how it was possible, and slowly it dawned on me. The explanation was as clear as the morning sky - the dust and sand that was brought about by the storm was still lingering in the air, and the red rays of the setting sun reflected off every single particle...

A marvel of God for those who had endured endured the trials of His making...

Only then did I comprehend that the sandstorm was a living embodiment of the desert - harsh, wild and totally untamable. And yet, for those brave enough to face its might, the sandstorm brought with it a calm and beauty that was difficult to surpass.

Such was the revelation of my first sandstorm, in a land whose sands had caressed the faces of the Prophet (peace be upon him), and his companions in a time almost forgotten.

Such was Kuwait Al-Hur...

Kuwait the Free.

Image credit here

Moneyporn

2010-04-14T14:02:00.001+12:00

How many people here have had to endure the constant barrage of friend requests of e-networkers on their personal Social Networking Sites (SNS)?

Not that I have anything against business per se, or even against MLM businesses in general because I too aspire to be a successful entreprenuer, and I have personally gone through my trial by fire for MLM businesses as well.

No, I do not harbour any grudges against businessmen or network marketers who have finesse and practice calculated restraint over their zealousness to 'bag the next client/ downline'.

But I do have a BIG grudge against 2 types of e-networkers on SNS.

Type I
This is the type of e-networker who uses a PERSONAL account on PERSONAL networking sites like Facebook for pure business networking. They can be characterised by their number of 'friends', usually amounting to thousands of total strangers with whom they have no interest to get to know personally unless they bring in money. This type of e-networker operates by the random adding of total strangers into their personal network, until some gullible schmuck thinks that the picture of this networker posing in front of someone else's BMW 5-series can actually help his own financial position, or at least until they realize that the networker is probably as successful in their businesses as the poor schmucks themselves are.

Again, I must reiterate that I do not have anything against networkers per se, but please remember, my Facebook is my own PERSONAL and PRIVATE domain. Please do not invade my privacy. That is just like knocking incessantly on my door on a Sunday when I am trying to spend my precious day off with my family.

Type II
This is the type I abhor the most. They are a combination of Type I, mixed together with perverted exhibitionist tendencies. They can be complete strangers or worse still, someone you actually know.
These are the e-networkers who take pictures of themselves holding what appears to be thousands of dollars/ringgit in their hands, fanning themselves with it, bathing in it, throwing it about, covering their babies with it, and whatever disgusting orgy of excess and greed they can think of.

First off, I don't care if it's real money, or fake money, or your money, or your upline's money... I don't care...

What I do care about, especially if the person is known to me, is that you are showing the world that you are undeniably greedy, prone to live in a vice of excessiveness, and are a perverted exhibitionist to boot. It's just too 'in your face'... It's like wanting to attract a nice member of the opposite sex by stripping naked in their living rooms while they are having dinner with their parents... It's just... Disgusting.

It's Moneyporn...

I just wish you would realize that.

Neil Armstrong - The undying rumour of the Muslim world

2010-04-13T02:35:00.000+12:00

Many years ago, when I was an impressionable schoolboy in a religious school, I was stunned by a startling announcement made by my Ustaz (a religious teacher).

"Do you know that Neil Armstrong is a Muslim?!!" he said emphatically.

I was flabbergasted.

"You mean THE Neil Armstrong? The first man on the Moon?" I asked.

"Of course I mean that Neil Armstrong! How many Neil Armstrongs do you know?" was the reply, "There was a big convention when he came to Malaysia... Tabligh (a religious organisation) brought him over.. there were thousands of people who went"

... Wow... I thought... But somehow, deep within my gut I was still skeptical... you know the feeling, like you want to believe something with all your heart, but you know that something just isn't right.

But it's not something to lose sleep over is it?

And so every few years, the news would surface somewhere that Armstrong was Muslim, and many Muslims just accepted it to be natural - Of course he's Muslim, they would say, he saw this light over Mecca, heard the adhan (Muslim call to prayer) in space etc... Of course it's only natural he's Muslim.

Well, today out of the blue my thoughts suddenly came back to this issue (I think it was after seeing a picture of Buzz Aldrin), and I decided to google it.

Guess what I found?

http://www.answering-islam.org/Hoaxes/neil.html

In the link you will find all the evidence that says he isn't and that he never was. There are even links to the original scanned documents. Have a read through.

The funny thing is, even after reading this, many Muslims will say things "Oh the evidence has been concocted" and "That's just what they want us to believe, but we know better".

Which leads me to my thought of the day - Why is it that many Muslims are so insecure about themselves and their religion? Why is it that they have to keep trying to convince themselves and other people that their religion is superior, and that it is only natural for people of other faiths to gravitate to Islam, simply because that's just the way things are... I mean, 'look at Neil Armstrong' they would say.

I write this post, a strong Muslim as ever, but I feel that I do not need the validation of other people embracing Islam to be able to truly appreciate and embrace the beauty of my faith. Of course it is nice to know that there are many people out there who choose to embrace Islam as their faith, and of this I am forever glad... But this should not be the pivot upon which hinges my belief in my religion.

Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it...

Maybe many Muslims out there do not do their homework before committing something to belief.

Maybe it's just blissful ignorance than damning insecurity.

But still... That can't be good can it?

Time, Tide and The Grim Reaper

2010-04-08T17:17:00.000+12:00

Image credit here

A lot of people say that before you die your whole life flashes before your eyes.

Hogwash! I used to say... How can a person's whole life fit into the split seconds before his untimely demise?

But here's the thing about time - Einstein was right on the money when he said that time was relative.

This would mean that 'time' as we know it exists in different forms for different people, at different points of their lives.

Heavy... isn't it?

Let's take on a few examples to help illuminate this theory.

First, let us have a look at a college student who is hanging out with his friends at the local sports bar, having a few drinks, watching the Premiership game on a widescreen TV, and he has an test tomorrow. You can that for him every time he looks at the clock an hour would have passed without him realising it.

Next, let us have a look at someone who is stuck indoors on a beautiful summer's day, having to read up on Calculus because he has a Calculus exam next week. For him every second he spends indoors in front of his books is going to feel like hours. The clock just can't move fast enough. He reads a paragraph and completes and exercise, and thinks that 15 minutes have gone by. He looks at the clock and discovers that only 5 minutes have gone by.

Now compress that into the the moments you have before the angel of death comes calling, and you could possibly fit in your whole life into those milliseconds.

I hope my life story can be a good flash.

Open Relationship my A**!

2010-04-05T13:57:00.000+12:00

Image credit here

I love Facebook.

I really do.

It's cool. It's got all you need to tell people about you - your photos, your likes, your dislikes, what you did for the weekend, what your grandmother had for breakfast etc.

One thing I like about Facebook is that it gives the opportunity for people to tell the truth about their relationship status, whether they were single, married, in a relationship and so on. As a social scientist who is somewhat versed in discourse analysis, allow me to analyse a few of them.

1) SINGLE - a lot of lovelorn teens and young adults post this as their relationship status. Mostly, when they say they are single on Facebook you can generally believe it. Reason - they're going to get a whacking/tongue lashing from their significant other, who is also on Facebook.

2) (Not Stated) - This equivocation is one usually used by people who are in a relationship but are not comfortable in admitting it yet, or are in a relationship but their significant other is not yet on Facebook, or used by those who actually do not have a relationship but are too shy to admit that they are 'losers' ( Not the personal opinion of blogger).

3) MARRIED - Those who are married, and whose spouses are ALSO on Facebook. Enough said.

4) IN A RELATIONSHIP - These are usually truthful statements, as they have to be verified by both parties.

5) IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP - Now, this is the one I have the biggest gripe with. A lot of young and trendy people in their late teens and their young adulthood may at some point or other choose to publish this relationship status. They may think (please read the next part in a ditsy sing-song voice) - 'Oh my bf/gf is so understanding, we have have a beautiful relationship, we tell each other everything, we have no secrets, we are so open, bla bla bla'. In short, many people, especially my students (current, past, university, school) are of the opinion that an 'Open Relationship' means a good loving relationship where both parties are open with each other and tell each other how they feel.

Wrong.

Just to clarify, allow me to state the definition of an 'Open Relationship'.

i - An open relationship is a relationship in which the participants are free to have emotional and/or physical relationships with other partners, often within mutually agreed limits. If a couple in an open relationship are married, it can be called an open marriage. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_relationship)

ii - A relationship in which two people agree that they want to be together, but can't exactly promise that they won't see other people too. Basically, to have it all: a significant other and the freedom to hook up with other people. Common during college for many post-high school relationships.(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=open%20relationship)

There are of course many other references, but I leave that up to your perseverance to follow-up. Suffice to say, when you state that you are in an 'Open Relationship' you are in fact telling the whole world that you have a spouse/bf/gf, and that you cheat openly, and that it's OK because they are doing the same thing. You're not going to get jealous if he/she is exchanging body fluids with someone else because hey - you're doing it too.

But some people may have their reasons for it - granted. It is somewhat acceptable if you do have your reasons for doing so, and both of you know what you are into. That is not for me to judge.

However, I DO have a reason to be miffed at the thousands of doey-eyed teeenagers and young adults who do NOT know what an open relationship is, and yet here they are, publishing that they are in an 'Open Relationship'!

Open relationship my a**...

DELL Technical Support - Not half bad...

2010-03-31T20:11:00.000+13:00

Got my new Dell Inspiron 1464 about 2 weeks back.

Paid about RM2600 for it.

That was after paying about RM2300 getting a second Macbook to replace the one that got stolen from my car 4 months back.

Ouch...

Anyhoo, back to my new Dell Inspiron.

Loved the whole thing. Looked awesome. Performed good on graphics and video editing. In short, all that I was looking for for that price range in a laptop.

Except for one... The batteries absolutely SUCKED!

I only managed to get about 2 hours doing the most basic tasks. Then I read up on them, and found that they should last about 2.5 to 3 hours. Felt I was being shortchanged.

Looked up on the website. Registered for this and that. Filled in the forms. Sent the complaints, Felt confident as they said they would respond within next working day.

Waited 2 days... Nothing.

Got agitated, and spent 30 minutes on the website, trying to figure out who to call.

Finally got a number.

Was asked to key in my Express Service number or something. Keyed that in. Response was "I am sorry, we do not have that number on record. Please check again"

wtf?...

I do...

Same response. But the system directs me to a consultant.

I brace myself to start a verbal war.

And then I am greeted by a pleasant female voice in pleasant proper English.

I direct my complaints and frustrations to her.

She answers professionally, and is able to field the questions well.

She guides me through diagnostics, and we run the tests together, me on my end and her a few hundred miles away.

We chat while we are doing the tests.

She is very pleasant.

At the end of the exchange she says "You are right sir, by right the battery shouldn't discharge that quickly. I'll send you a replacement. It should arrive tomorrow"

I smile.

After the hassle of the computerised ringamarole I went through, it was at the end of the day another human being who managed to see my problem, and do something about it.

How's that for customer service?

Kudos to the people at Dell.

Disclaimer: This post is not a marketing tool for Dell, and the writer does not get paid for his opinions.

Term-end blues

2010-03-30T04:58:00.000+13:00

Image credit here

It's funny how during the semester there's never enough time.

It's classes, then consultations, then meetings, then vetting, then preparations for the upcoming LSP Conference in KL, then preparations for NZ... The list just goes on and on... Throughout this whole time you're thinking to yourself I'm just so busy, and I can't take this anymore, and I wish it would stop.

And then it does.

Suddenly before you know it, you're saying your farewell speech, and wishing the students good luck for their final examinations. The students hug you and with tears in their eyes, telling you how much they have enjoyed studying under you... They give you cards and presents, and stuff you with food...

And then it hits you that you are going to miss them... A lot...

No more joking with them...

No more ordering them to sing when they come late for class...

No more slagging them when they slack off...

Even though it happens every semester, the cycle rarely changes. It's full speed from beginning of the semester right up to the end, like a roller-coaster ride, and then BAM!... It's your last day.

After that you still go to the office... Still have to key in your attendance... Go to your own office... Sit down and switch on the computer... And you think 'Ahhhhh... Peace and quiet at last...'

And you sit down.

And you look around.

And you fiddle around with the computer, seeing if there is any work you haven't done, any research that has to be reported...

And you look up.

And you look around.

...

Now what?

Of Visas and Valium

2010-03-23T01:34:00.001+13:00

Technorati Tags: New Zealand

It’s been a long 6 months. Every day dedicated to a singular purpose – to make sure I could get the scholarship to New Zealand, and to make sure that I can actually get to go.

In the past 3 months I have had to make countless trips to KL to find a guarantor, to get his signature, to come down again to Johor only to find out that I missed one line which required me to get the signatures of both my guarantors, which inevitably meant going back up to KL to get them again…

And also to Putrajaya to get a letter of good conduct, by which I had to prepare a statutory declaration in court of my good behaviour…

Not to mention going to countless trips down to the panel clinic for immigration to New Zealand and Australia (which can only be found in one place in the whole Johor state), getting referred to the specialists for some anomalies in my bloodwork (of which is attributed to fatty liver)…

And finally the trip to Orchard Road in Singapore to apply for my visa… Where I was told that because of the anomalies of my bloodwork, the report would have to be sent to a vetting body in NZ, where they would take 4-6 weeks to determine if I was fit to be a student in New Zealand, and not to become a ‘burden to the New Zealand healthcare system’… Come on! I’m not bedridden am I?

And all the while, I am in limbo. My starting date is looming closer, and yet I am unable to confirm when I’ll be arriving, where I’ll be staying, when I can take out my health insurance policy, or when I can even get my place ticket.

It’s a shame that I’ll be spending the rest of the next month in agonizing wait, when I should be relishing the last moments with my family and friends, with my wife, my son, and my soon-to-be newborn son.

It’s all a bit too much isn’t it?…

Anyone got a valium?

Aiyoo tarak mata kaaa? (a.k.a Hello Singapore!)

2010-03-19T22:39:00.000+13:00

SCENE 1:

CAMERA VIEW: POV

Me at Woodlands Checkpoint. Singapore customs clearance. Filling in disembarkation form.

I finish writing everything and hand over my form, along with my Passport and IC to the rather stern-looking female Indian Customs officer.

She takes my documents.

She looks at the documents.

She looks up at me.

She looks at the documents again, and says

"Abdullah Mohd Nawi... Ooooo... Melayu kaa? Saya ingat Cina...."

(Translation: Abdullah Mohd Nawi... Ohhhh... You're a Malay? I thought you were Chinese...)

CAMERA VIEW: My face (Closeup)

...wtf?...

FADE

Worms, maggots and mud

2010-02-09T18:31:00.000+13:00

Photo credit here

It's hard growing up in a foreign country.

I went through that almost my entire childhood. Oh don't get me wrong, I love the UK and I would never trade my childhood there for anything in the world.

It's just that it tickles me to reflect on some of the things that my sister and I (and a few of our other Malay friends) would do just so that we wouldn't get singled out.

One very funny example just recently cropped up in my head, and I knew I had to write about it immediately. In the UK we would have the option of taking packed lunches from home or eat catered lunches called 'school dinners' or 'din-dins' there, though I don't know exactly why lunch was called dinner... it still leaves me baffled to this very day. Having school dinners was sometimes a challenge for us Muslims because we can only eat Halal of Kosher food, and so it was the usual custom that we bring our own lunches.

When the bell rings, you walk out of your classroom, single file, and walk together to the Dining Hall. Students on school dinners would be seated at one set of tables and students bringing their own food would be seated at another set, so as to ease the distribution of food.

To this very day I can remember I can remember two incidents that would be forever ingrained into my brain. First, during a particular lunchtime, I caught a glimpse of my sister's friend Liza sitting down at the table, but with nothing on the table. Upon closer inspection, I saw that she was holding her lunch (packed in a Tupperware container) very tightly on her lap, hiding it from view. Next, I saw her eyes rove about, making sure that nobody was watching her. Then, as quick as lightning she would dip her spoon into her Tupperware, quickly shove the food into her mouth, and tear away the spoon as fast as possible to destroy the evidence.

She was eating fried rice. Dark brown in colour. Little grains of rice, probably looking like newly-hatched maggots - to her.

I was amused.

But I wasn't that better myself.

My mum (bless her heart) would pack us sandwiches. Sometimes it would be cheese. Sometimes it would be peanut butter.

And sometimes it would be serunding daging.

Now, anyone who is familiar with serunding daging would be familiar with the heavenly taste of the dried beef and exotic flavours of its spices. However, to an English schoolboy, it would look like worms and mud...

So whenever I had a serunding sandwich, it would be my turn to do the disappearing act!

Funny, really, when I look back now...

Wonder how my kids are going to fare with their worms, maggots and mud in New Zealand.

Cheapskate or just plain stoopid?

2010-02-02T01:18:00.000+13:00

Image credit here

(Dear reader, I know this entry is a bit long but I really need your opinion on this matter. Don't worry it's not a heavy read)

PROLOGUE

I have this friend.

I remember him being an OK friend.. a bit of halitosis, but nothing holding one's breath can't fix.

Like I said, he's an OK (in a sort of so-so way) friend. Academics wasn't his thing (anything that involved learning), though he did try ever so hard, bless his soul. Then he got into business in a big way doing MLM, and because of his family connections he managed to become quite prosperous.

Calls every once in around 6 months, usually when he's in JB for his business.

But starting from around a year ago I was loathe to pick up his calls. When I see the number on my phone I cringe because I can't stand what a cheapskate he is.

Here is a chronology. Judge for yourselves.

1) Four years ago. I was a struggling language instructor. He comes down to JB for business. We meet up for the first time after a long while. I am enthusiastic about buying him dinner. Problem was I didn't have cash on me. After hunting for 30 minutes for a ATM that was working finally I give up. Swallowing my pride, I borrow RM10 so we can have a meal together. I pay for my food and drink and his drink using that money.

Note: If we were in the same position, and I saw my friend in the dilemma that I was in, especially one that I had not seen in a long time, and he was kind enough to be enthusiastic about buying me dinner (even a measly plate of fried rice), I would not have hesitated to volunteer to pay... Not having to see my friend swallow his pride and ask me to lend him money because all the ATMs were out of service.

2) Two years ago. I was already a lecturer in UTM. I go to KL with my colleagues because we have an assignment in there. I call up my friend and tell him I'm in town. He insists on picking me up for lunch. I am a bit reluctant because I know my colleagues are going to have lunch, and hang out at some cool spots until dinner. But I think 'what the heck...he is my friend'. So I get into my friend's car and we drive off.

He asks 'where do you wanna have lunch?'.

I say 'Anywhere...'

He says 'I don't mind'

I say 'Let's go somewhere where we can spend time and catch up.. KLCC?'

He says 'sure'...

So we go to KLCC. Upon arrival at the food court he says 'I'll wait for you here. I wanna get Ice-cream' . He gets his ice-cream, sits down and eats it. I am a bit surprised that I was expected to pay for a lunch that he invited me to.

I get my food. Only have RM20 left in my wallet. I sit at his table. I listen to him drone on.

Next, I want to test him. I remember that 2 years ago I had borrowed RM10 to have dinner with him, which also paid for his drink. I give him the money, half-expecting him to say 'No.. keep it... besides, I invited you... So I'm paying'...

But no...

He smiles and says 'So you do remember..."

I fake a smile.

The evening drones on. Finally he says 'I gotta go pick up my kids. I can't send you to your hotel I'm afraid'

I cringe...

He invites me out... Doesn't pay for anything... And then leaves me out to dry...

A good thing another old friend comes along (bless his heart), and takes me under his wing. First thing he does -

Brings me to Dome cafe and says 'Order whatever you want... It's on me'

What a Godsend for a traveler who only has RM10 in his pocket.

Next, another old friend comes and takes me out to dinner. He too says 'What are you going to have? I'm buying'.

As I head home in this friend's car, I get a call from the cheapskate. He wants to take me out tomorrow again.

I politely make an excuse to decline.

NOTE: In my rulebook, there are two occasions in which I would normally treat my friend. One, if my friend were on my turf, and he came traveling from afar. Two, if I am the one who calls up my friend (but there is usually an understanding in which normal people take turns). He calls me up, making me miss out on some good time with my colleagues, and he doesn't even pay for lunch. Look what the other two friends did.

3) Another visit to KL. He gets to know about it. I invite him over to the swanky restaurant my colleagues and I were having dinner at. He comes over and has a drink (on us of course).

He invites me to lunch tomorrow.

I politely make an excuse to decline.

4) He comes over to JB for a business trip. A successful MLM businessman has to do that you know. He calls me up. I can't escape. I take him out to dinner. My treat. He asks me to send him back to his hotel about 20km from where I met up with him which meant I would have to send him 20km, and then drive back to the point of origin for 20km, and then drive myself home for another 20km... A total of 60km in a night just so that he doesn't have to call a cab.

I ask myself 'is he for real???'.

I politely make an excuse to decline.

5) About 6 months back, I go to Putrajaya for an emceeing job. I meet up with the guy who showed me compassion and friendship at Dome cafe (story number 2). I return the favour and buy him dinner 'cos I'm the one who invited him.

During our chat he says 'Can you believe it? Our friend (the cheapskate) calls me up and invites me out to dinner. During the dinner he drones on about his business opportunity (the MLM). After listening to him for THREE hours. He just waits. I had to pay!! Can you believe it???'

EPILOGUE

And so dear readers, after a lengthy tirade of bottled up emotions that I have kept inside for many years, I leave it to you to judge.

Am I a bad friend for not picking up his phone call yesterday? It probably meant he was in town and wanted to see me.

What do you think - Cheapskate or just plain stoopid?

White Ribbon

2010-01-26T03:27:00.000+13:00

Image credit here

"Kullu nafsin dhaiqatul Maut" (Every living thing shall taste death) - Holy Quran

It came as a surprise to me when I heard the news that the Sultan of Johor was dead. It came as an even bigger surprise to me that I cared... A lot.

Not that I broke down into tears or anything, but there was a feeling of genuine loss somewhere from deep within. For years and years, no matter which state in Malaysia I lived in, the Royal families were always the people we read about in the newspapers or saw on television. In Johor especially every Friday prayer ends with at least three whole minutes just reciting the du'a to ask for the health and prosperity of the Sultan and Royal family. However, no matter how I looked at it, they didn't seem 'real', or as detached from 'reality' as I saw it... Oh I had seen some royalty up close and personal but there was no real connection (as far as I was concerned).

However, throughout the years spent in UTM, I was given the opportunity on several occasions to meet and talk with Sultanah Zanariah (who in fact awarded my Masters degree to me) and Raja Zarith Sofia. It was through these two august personages that I was able to see the Royal family for what they really were - real people.

People that cared about other people.

People worthy of my respect.

People worthy of my love.

Upon realising this, I did not merely parrot the Lagu Bangsa Johor just because everyone else sang it, or said 'Amen' to the du'a just because the imam was reciting it.

I did them because I finally acknowledged that I had accepted them to be my sovereigns... heart and soul.

And so, upon hearing the passing of my sovereign, I tied a white ribbon around my songkok...

Not because I was afraid of any bullshit summons people were rumoured to have gotten...

But because I mourn the loss of my Sultan.

Blog Spammers

2010-01-25T01:58:00.000+13:00

I have finally succumbed to the irritation of constant blog spamming. It is with a heavy heart that I enable comment moderation, for I have always held free speech in high regard.

Up yours you spamming scumbags.

Perjanjian Rasulullah dengan Orang Kristian pada 628 Masihi

2010-01-09T19:44:00.000+13:00

Saya ingin berkongi artikel ini dengan rakan-rakan saya, baik Islam mahupun Kristian. Semoga ia dapat membawa kebaikan bersama InsyaAllah.

Perjanjian Rasulullah dengan Orang Kristian pada 628 Masihi

Oleh Dr. Muqtedar Khan

Pengarah Pengajian Islam di University of Delaware dan felo Institute for Social Policy and Understanding

http://www.udel.edu/poscir/profiles/MKhan.shtml

Diterjemah oleh Abdullah Mohd Nawi

Pensyarah

Jabatan Bahasa Moden

Universiti Teknologi Malaysia

http://teknologimalaysia.academia.edu/AbdullahMohdNawi

Bilangan masyarakat Islam dan Kristian jika digabungkan menjadi 50 peratus dari penduduk Bumi ini. Jika mereka hidup dalam aman dan damai nescaya keamanan separuh dunia terus dapat dicapai. Salah satu cara yang dapat kita ambil untuk memajukan keharmonian Islam-Kristian ialah dengan berkongsi cerita dan berita yang baik bersama, dan menjauhkan diri dari cubaan untuk mengkeji, menuduh dan mencela antara satu sama lain (mutual demonization).

Di dalam artikel ini, saya ingin mencuba muntuk mengingatkan kedua-dua masyarakat, baik Islam atau Kristian, tentang suatu perjanjian yang telah dimenterai oleh Nabi Muhammad (s.a.w) dan orang Kristian. Pengetahuan tentang perjanjian ini boleh mendatangkan suatu impak yang begitu besar terhadap kelakuan orang Islam terhadap orang Kristian. Ini adalah kerana seorang Muslim akan mencuba sedaya upaya untuk menghormati perilaku/sunnah Nabi (s.a.w) dan mencuba untuk mengamalkannya dalam kehidupan harian.

Pada tahun 628 Masihi, sebuah delegasi dari Biara St. Catherine telah berjumpa dengan Nabi Muhammad (s.a.w) dan meminta perlindungan baginda. Rasulullah (s.a.w) menjawab dengan memberikan mereka piagam hak-hak, yang akan saya salinkan sepenuhnya di bawah. Biara St. Catherine terletak di kaki Gunung Sinai [di Israel] dan merupakan biara tertua di dunia. Di situ terletak koleksi manuskrip-manuskrip yang amat besar, dan hanya Vatican [di Rom] mempunyai koleksi yang dapat menandinginya. Biara St. Catherine merupakan tapak warisan dunia (world heritage site), dan mempunyai koleksi ikon-ikon Kristian yang tertua di dunia. Ia merupakan suatu gedung harta sejarah peradaban Kristian yang telah selamat di bawah lindungan peradaban Islam selama 1 400 tahun.

Perjanjian kepada Biara St. Catherine:

“Ini ialah utusan daripada Muhammad ibn Abdullah, sebagai perjanjian kepada mereka yang mengamalkan agama Kristian, samada dekat atau jauh, kami bersama mereka. Sesungguhnya aku dan pengikutku melindungi mereka, kerana mereka adalah rakyatku [rakyat Tamadun Islam]; dan demi Allah! Aku menjauhkan dari mereka apa yang mereka tidak senangi. Tiada paksaan akan dikenakan ke atas mereka. Tidaklah juga hakim-hakim mereka dipaksa meninggalkan pekerjaan mereka, dan tidak juga rahib-rahib mereka dipaksa meninggalkan biara. Tiada siapa pun dibenarkan untuk memusnahkan rumah [ibadat] dalam agama mereka, atau mendatangkan kerosakan, atau membawa apa-apa dari mereka untuk diletakkan di rumah orang Islam. Barangsiapa yang berbuat demikinan, nescaya dia telah melanggar perjanjian Allah dan ingkar dengan Rasul-Nya. Sesungguhnya mereka [orang Kristian] adalah sekutuku (my allies) dan mempunyai piagamku melindungi mereka daripada apa yang mereka benci. Tiada siapa akan memaksa mereka untuk berpindah atau memaksa mereka untuk berperang [untuk orang Islam]. Jika seorang perempuan Kristian dikahwinkan kepada lelaki Muslim, perkahwinan ini hanya akan berlaku dengan izinnya [si perempuan Kristian]. Tidaklah dia [si perempuan Kristian] dihalang daripada bersembahyang [secara Kristian] di gereja. Gereja mereka [orang Kristian] seharusnya dihormati. Tidaklah mereka [orang Kristian] dihalang daripada memperbaiki gereja merekan dan tidaklah mereka dihalang kesucian biara mereka. Tiada seorang Muslim akan ingkar kepada perjanjian ini sehinggalah Hari Terakhir (Hari Kiamat)”.

Ayat pertama dan terekhir perjajnjian ini amatlah penting. Ayat-ayat ini membuatkan perjanjian ini universal dan abadi. Nabi Muhammad (s.a.w) menegaskan bahawa orang Islam adalah bersama orang Kristian dekat mahupun jauh, dan dengan itu menyangkal kemungkinan piagam ini dihadkan kepada Biara St. Catherine sahaja. Dengan mengarahkan orang Islam supaya mematuhi perjanjian ini sehingga Hari Kiamat, piagam ini juga menyangkal kemungkinan keistimewaan ini ditarik balik pada masa akan datang. Hak-hak ini tidak dapat dilucutkan. Rasulullah (s.a.w) menamakan kesemua orang Kristian sebagai sekutunya dan baginda menyamakan kezaliman ke atas orang Kristian sebagai mengingkari perjajian Allah S.W.T.

Suatu aspek yang harus dilihat dalam piagam ini ialah ia tidak mengenakan apa-apa syarat kepada orang Kristian untuk menikmati keistimewaan. Adalah cukup sekadar menjadi orang Kristian. Mereka tidak dipaksa untuk menukar kepercayaan mereka, membayar apa-apa [untuk mendapatkan keistimewaan ini], dan tidak mempunyai apa-apa kewajipan [untuk mendapatkan keistimewaan ini]. Ia adalah piagam tanpa paksaan!

Utusan ini bukanlah suatu perjanjian hak asasi manusia yang moden, akan tetapi walaupun ia telah ditulis pada tahun 628 Masihi, ia dengan jelas melindungi hak ke atas harta benda, kebebasan beragama, kebebasan bekerja dan keselamatan kendiri.

Saya tahu kebanyakan pembaca yang budiman akan berfikir, “Jadi?”. Jawapannya adalah mudah. Sesiapa yang bertujuan untuk mendatangkan konflik orang Islam dan orang Kristian, mereka akan menumpukan perhatian mereka terhadap isu-isu yang memecah-belahkan, dan akan menekankan konflik. Akan tetapi, apabila sumber seperti perjanjian Rasulullah (s.a.w) kepada orang Kristian dapat dimajukan dan diberikan perhatian, ia akan membina jambatan [antara orang Islam dan Kristian]. Ia akan memberikan inspirasi kepada orang Islam untuk meninggalkan sifat yang tidak toleran yang akan mendatangkan kemusnahan kepada persepsi orang Kristian yang kemungkinan mempunyai perasaan takut terhadap agama Islam ataupun kaum Muslimin.

Apabila saya melihat sumber-sumber Islamiyah, saya mendapati di dalam mereka contoh-contoh toleransi agama dan sikap keterbukaan yang tidak pernah dilihat sebelumnya. Sumber-sumber ini membuatkan saya ingin menjadi seorang yang lebih baik. Pada pendapat saya, kapasiti untuk mencari kebaikan mahupun keburukan terkandung dalam kita semua. Apabila kita menghalang sifat kita yang mencari kebaikan dalam orang lain, kita sebenarnya menghalang sifat kita sebagai manusia. Pada musim percutian ini, saya harap kita semua dapat mencari sesuatu yang positif dan yang layak dihargai dalam nilai-nilai, budaya dan sejarah orang lain.

Oleh Dr. Muqtedar Khan

Pengarah Pengajian Islam di University of Delaware dan felo Institute for Social Policy and Understanding

Rujukan:
http://aljazeera.com/news/articles/39/Prophet-Muhammads-promise-to-Christians.html
http://www.khaleejtimes.com/DisplayArticleNew.asp?xfile=/data/opinion/2010/January/opinion_January44.xml&section=opinion
http://www.cyberistan.org/islamic/charter1.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0SsRmC6O5k

Christians and Muslims... Know you not your own history?

2010-01-09T19:29:00.000+13:00

In light of recent events of culminating hatred, I would like us all to reevaluate our values. I came across this article that I would like to share with everyone. The Malay version will follow in a subsequent post.

Prophet’s Promise to Christians

Dr Muqtedar Khan (Common Ground)

8 January 2010

Muslims and Christians together constitute over fifty per cent of the world and if they lived in peace, we will be half way to world peace. One small step that we can take towards fostering Muslim-Christian harmony is to tell and retell positive stories and abstain from mutual demonisation.

I must remind both Muslims and Christians about a promise that Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, made to Christians. The knowledge of this promise can have enormous impact on Muslim conduct towards Christians. Muslims generally respect the precedent set by their Prophet and try to practise it in their lives.

In 628 AD, a delegation from St. Catherine’s Monastery came to the Prophet and requested his protection. He responded by granting them a charter of rights, which I reproduce below in its entirety. St. Catherine’s Monastery is located at the foot of Mt. Sinai and is the world’s oldest monastery. It possesses a huge collection of Christian manuscripts, second only to the Vatican, and is a world heritage site. It also boasts the oldest collection of Christian icons. It is a treasure house of Christian history that has remained safe for 1400 years under Muslim protection. Here goes the Promise to St. Catherine:

“This is a message from Muhammad bin Abdullah, as a covenant to those who adopt Christianity, near and far, we are with them.

Verily I, the servants, the helpers, and my followers defend them, because Christians are my citizens; and by Allah! I hold out against anything that displeases them.

No compulsion is to be on them. Neither are their judges to be removed from their jobs nor their monks from their monasteries. No one is to destroy a house of their religion, to damage it, or to carry anything from it to the Muslims’ houses.

Should anyone take any of these, he would spoil God’s covenant and disobey His Prophet. Verily, they are my allies and have my secure charter against all that they hate. No one is to force them to travel or to oblige them to fight. The Muslims are to fight for them.

If a female Christian is married to a Muslim, it is not to take place without her approval. She is not to be prevented from visiting her church to pray. Their churches are to be respected. They are neither to be prevented from repairing them nor the sacredness of their covenants. No one of the (Muslim) nation is to disobey the covenant till the Last Day (end of the world).”

The first and the final sentence of the charter are critical. They make the promise eternal and universal. The Prophet asserts that Muslims are with Christians near and far straight away rejecting any future attempts to limit the promise to St. Catherine alone. By ordering Muslims to obey it until the Day of Judgment, the charter again undermines any future attempts to revoke the privileges. These rights are inalienable. The Prophet declared Christians, all of them, as his allies and he equated ill treatment of Christians with violating God’s covenant.

A remarkable aspect of the charter is that it imposes no conditions on Christians for enjoying these privileges. It is enough that they are Christians. They are not required to alter their beliefs, they do not have to make any payments and they do not have any obligations. This is a charter of rights without any duties! The document is not a modern human rights treaty but even though it was penned in 628 AD, it clearly protects the right to property, freedom of religion, freedom of work, and security of the person.

When I look at Islamic sources, I find in them unprecedented examples of religious tolerance and inclusiveness. They make me want to become a better person. I think the capacity to seek good and do good inheres in all of us. When we subdue this predisposition towards the good, we deny our fundamental humanity.

Dr. Muqtedar Khan is Director of Islamic Studies at the University of Delaware and a fellow of the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding, US

References:

http://aljazeera.com/news/articles/39/Prophet-Muhammads-promise-to-Christians.html

http://www.khaleejtimes.com/DisplayArticleNew.asp?xfile=/data/opinion/2010/January/opinion_January44.xml&section=opinion

http://www.cyberistan.org/islamic/charter1.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0SsRmC6O5k

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree...

2009-12-22T05:47:00.000+13:00

Image credit here

It is now that time of year again, where I start to reminisce the Christmases of my childhood. Christmas? you may ask... But I thought he was Muslim?

I grew up in a stout Islamic environment where my parents ingrained in me the tenets of the Quran and hadith. But outside my little bubble I also grew up in an environment where Christmas was a magical time of year. It was the time when my friends would brag about the presents they would be getting from their parents, and how they would be playing with them when I came over to their house on Christmas, and so on and so forth. Excitement would radiate from every child, regardless of which race they belonged to...

It was still an innocent time for me. A time when when boys were boys and girls were girls, and the top shelf magazines were not to be seen, although the curiosity was starting to build (Note - many people here would not understand this reference, though people who've been overseas are probably grinning just about now). In short, Christmas to me was the wholesome family experience that you would see on TV. A time of togetherness, goodwill and peace, not those wild Christmas parties that university students would have. Christmas meant friends and food, caroling and parties (nice ones), and of course...snow. The perfect white Christmas... When the ground would be totally covered in beautiful white snow, perfect and pure, just waiting for us to make snow angels and snowmen.

Yes, I really do miss the Christmas of my childhood...

Time (edited)

2009-12-09T00:29:00.000+13:00

(Forgive the gross spelling errors before as this entry was thumb-typed form my iPhone)

I now sit here all alone in this deserted lecture room..

My mind goes blank for a while as I reflect on how I had to rush everything to make it to this very spot.. Rushed paperwork, rushed driving, rushed lunch, rushed prayers... All so that I could make it in time to evaluate a public speaking session..

And yet, here I am... Alone...

As I wait, the door of the room opens.

I see a young man with pleasant Somali features approach me. The troubled look on his was clear indication that something had not gone according to plan.

"Mr Abdullah..." he starts, with a very apologetic voice "I'm very sorry to inform you that the other session has not finished yet... They started late, so we're going to have to postpone your session... I'm very sorry for the inconvenience"

"It's ok" I reassure him "It's not your fault"

He thanks me for understanding and walks away.

I'm still here... Alone... In this deserted lecture room... Wondering why Malaysians seem to have a habit of tardiness without realising the implications on other people's time...

Indoctri-Nation for the Nation (Part 1)

2009-11-05T15:46:00.000+13:00

B.T.N...

These three letters are synonymous with indoctrination, politics, mental and physical 'torture', and the like.

Biro Tata Negara - responsible for handling the infamous Kursus Tata Negara and recently the Kursus Kenegaraan.

'Not again...' I mentally sighed as I held the calling letter in my hand. I was to report at the Balik Pulau BTN camp on the 22nd of October. This would be the third BTN camp I attended, and being an old hand at the game, it wasn't so much the 'torture' (that's just urban myth to scare

people from attending BTN) as it was the boring lectures about Malaysia this, and Malaysia that... All the things we learned at school regurgitated back to in a space of 5 days.

And it wasn't that it was that bad of a course (based on the previous ones that I had attended). but it was just that there was so much work to be done at the office, and also it meant time away from my son and my newly-pregnant wife.

But there was nothing I could do as it was a prerequisite for all prospective students, whether for Masters, PhD or Sub-specialization, who were going overseas for their studies.

So I grit my teeth, packed my bags, and took a connecting flight to Penang.

Upon arrival, I hailed a taxi, and we hunted for the camp. Believe it or not even the taxi driver had never been there before because it was so remote. The only mobile network which covered the area was Celcom (no doubt installed after a Celcom bigwig was put through the course there!).

But find it we eventually did, and a beautiful place it was indeed... fresh ocean breeze blowing through the dormitories... the waved creating a lullaby with each kiss to the shore... If it had not been for the impending activities and lectures I would have broken out a picnic basket.

Instead this was the sight that greeted me.

And these were my fellow 'detainees'. All with the same unhappy look, filled with gloom at the prospect of spending 5 whole days there.

I could see that this was going to be a loooooooong week ahead...

And it all crumbles to dust..

2009-10-07T03:42:00.000+13:00

Picture credit here

'Hey...'

'It's over...'

'My husband found out about us... It's over...I finally filed... for divorce'

I cannot say that I was surprised at the words that I heard from her.

She was on a crash course the minute she let her former lover back into her life... Not that she did anything overtly wrong... A call here here, an sms there, a Facebook message... but all spiralling faster and faster to the same direction... She was a beautiful 30-something, full of life, and so much to give, trapped in a dead-end... Married for more than 5 or 6 years, husband who didn't appreciate her, staying together not so much that she wanted to be with the husband, but more of staying together for the children...

And the sad truth is - she wasn't the only one.

Many women have confided in me the same thing... Each and every one different women, from different walks of life, with different careers, and different histories... Yet their stories are so common that I could easily tell one woman's story, and another woman would claim it was hers.

It's a different ball-game, being 30-something, and feeling that your marriage has failed you. It's even more devastating when you can't help yourself when you are drawn to that special someone, who listens to you as you pour your heart out... He could be the friend you've known all your life, an old flame, or even a colleague, but they all have one thing in common - they understand you heart and soul, they know you inside out - even better your own husband, and in another life, they would have been your soulmates...

But not in this.

And you know it... and try to let go...

Some of you can...

But some of you find the pull too irresistible...

Like a moth to the flame, drawn closer and closer, until it is engulfed in flame.

Indeed, I find it sad that the sacred bond of marriage is so very fragile, that if pushed enough, will disintegrate upon touch.

However, in no way do I blame the women for what they go through.

I know that they have gone through hell and back, scarred and burnt, but ready to forge a new life for themselves...though for some it may take a longer time than others to realise this...to take the chance and brave the road not taken.

All this has made me reevaluate my own marriage, and my position in the marriage. I realise that these stories are symptomatic of a major cause.

A husband should always try to show his love and appreciation to his wife, no matter how long they've been married , or how many children they have.

Or the consequences could be shattering...

Tired mind...

2009-09-29T04:42:00.000+13:00

It is now 11.43pm...

Tired...

Just got back home only about 43 mins ago...

My head is just spinning with an onslaught of never-ending thoughts, bits and pieces, a cacophony of images and sounds and sights and feelings. It's like a broken TV in my head that I just can't turn off no matter how hard I try.

The human mind is supposed to be able to filter 90% of unnecessary information at any single time, whether they originate from the external senses or the internal thought processes.

The rationale is simple - too much information and the human mind breaks.

My filtering is probably down to 85% tonight, and even then it's driving me up the wall.

Work...classes... meetings... deadlines... vetting for exams... coordinator for UHB 2422... Marks... Adel's not feeling well... Salmah's coming down with flu... swimming... gym... Ikea... Social benchmarking... consolidation of solidarity...friend's husband's a jerk... need time for herself... why can't men understand how women feel?... other people's problems... relationships... Miley Cyrus(???)...

It's a jungle in there.

Maybe I'm just just tired...

Or maybe I'm listening to too many people's problems in too short a space of time?

Or maybe it's a combination?...

I dunno...

Quote of the Day

2009-09-12T05:23:00.000+12:00

I came across this beautiful quote today:

"Don't cry because it's over.

Smile because it happened"

- Dr Seuss

And they grow up so fast

2009-09-05T14:50:00.000+12:00

It just happens so fast.

It only seems like yesterday that I held my newborn son in my hands, so small and fragile... and I saw him opening his eyes for the very first time... Jet black eyes, seemingly so big and tender on his little face.

And there he was this morning, waving goodbye to me, with his hand in his teacher's and walking towards the kindergarten.

I remember the range of emotions I felt as I saw him walk away. I was proud that he was such a big boy, not crying going to school for the first time, in a sea full of strangers both big and small.

I was happy, but as I drove away I became a little sad to know that my little boy had already started the next step of his journey. Pretty soon, he would be in school, and then high school and college...where he would start asking me for ever-growing amounts of money, borrow my car and put a dent in the bumper... And he would start chasing after girls (and If I read the cards right he's going to be chased around quite often too!)...

But all that can wait.

Today, he's just my little boy, that I can pick up and kiss at any time of the day. My little boy who would shower me with unrivaled love and affection.

I can't wait to pick him up from school soon.

Cow's head conundrum

2009-08-29T14:26:00.000+12:00

Fifty local residents protest the building of a temple by marching with a bloodied cow's head.

They want to march in protest? Fine, it is their right. I would probably do the same if I felt extremely provoked in some way, over an issue that was important to me.

Marching with a severed cow's head? Stupid, irresponsible, uncouth, insensitive, moronic, and totally idiotic.

The very fact that these protesters chose to desecrate the religious symbol of another race and religion shows how small minded, how provincial, how insensitive they are of basic respect among human beings, especially in a country such as ours. Don't they realise that they have desecrated something holy to other people?

Don't they realise that this action is the same as a group of Hindus marching through the streets, protesting the building of a mosque, with a burnt Quran in hand???

It is an act of open aggression. An act of open war.

Is this how we would like others to treat us?

Does the rule to do unto others how you want others to do unto you no longer apply?

You can protest, yes, but NEVER can you show this amount of disrespect to people of another race or religion.

In the Holy Quran it is stated in Surah Al-Kafiroon:

"Lakum deenukum wa liya deen" (for you your religion/way of life, and for me my religion). Muslims need to truly understand this ayah in the Holy Quran to be able to develop into a more tolerant people worldwide.

Even the Prophet (peace be upon him) never in his whole life indulged in this behaviour. In fact, in the Medinah Accord, the Jews (as Non-Muslims) were given the same accord, protection, and rights to their religion, as long as they did not disturb the peace, and fought side by side with their Muslim compatriots should Medinah be attacked from an outside threat. Medinah, under the guidance of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) was a haven of peace, and religious equality.

As Muslims, I think we need to reevaluate ourselves. Instead of taking the Zionist stance of "We are the chosen people of God, and we will prevail", I think we should start thinking in terms of "If we are the chosen people of God, then let our deeds to others show it".

They too are creations of our Lord.

My makeshift office

2009-08-13T16:20:00.000+12:00

Somehow, there's a magical draw to this place...

When I want work done I sit here.

Pay RM6 extra for coffee than I would in any other place.

Pay RM5 extra for pastry than I would in any other place.

Sit in plush chairs which are would make an office ergonomist cringe while hunched over, doing work that I could as easily do at the office.

Listen to bad jazz music that should have died 50 years ago blaring out of the loudspeakers.

And yet, here I am... hunched over, doing my work, while drinking overpriced coffee... eating an overpriced, overcooked croissant...with butter and jam...

I must be daft...

Life's Brief Candle

2009-07-26T05:59:00.000+12:00

Yasmin Ahmad dies at age 51.

A spark of light, extinguished in the blink of an eye.

As famous as she was for her films, there is not one of them that I have fully seen from beginning until the end. I do not know her for her films. Instead, I knew her more for her opinions and how she stood by her convictions, no matter how heavy the opposition may be. Like and indomitable island against on onslaught of tidal waves she stood, firm and unwavering.

And yet, she too was human, and as such vulnerable to all human weaknesses.

A testament, and a reminder to all, that no matter how bright a candle may burn to illuminate the darkness, when it reaches the end, it fades out and dies.

Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow

- William Shakespeare

Rest in Peace Yasmin.

Blunder and the Beast

2009-07-18T17:29:00.000+12:00

Image credit here

It's a Saturday..

And I have only just finished invigilating the Special Examinations for the First Year students..

Funny thing is, the exam season is over... And they had already taken this exam before...

So why am I here invigilating an exam, when exam season is over, and the students had already taken this paper before, when it is a Saturday where I should be resting at home?

Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to the record-setting blunder of the century (as far as my department goes). I am not a liberty to divulge any details, but suffice to say something happened that made the validity of the exams questionable. And so it goes, the students had to resit the paper again...all 2000-odd students from the entire First Year cohort of the entire University... Setting a record indeed.

What I had seen these past 2 months has indeed been a test of courage against adversity against many malignant forces, with true integrity shown by the few chosen people... The implications of the the blunder were enormous, and after the ensuing witch-hunt, the question arose - Do the faculty and department hang the hapless, accidental offender out to dry, or do they take the fall as a team?

I am proud to say they chose the latter.

The dean, deputy deans, and the head of department, standing side by side, shields tight and swords held high.

The path they chose - Take the fall, revamp the system, reschedule the make-up exam, send out letters of apology, remake the exam paper, retake the exam, remark the scripts, and resubmit the marks.

Of course, when it comes to actually doing the work, every man and woman in the department had to bear the brunt.

Some almost cracked from the strain, from the incessant, overwhelming burden.

Some were crying for blood, beastly in their demeanour, full of indignance .

However, some realised that it could have been any one of them who had made the blunder, and these were the chosen few who trudged on, regardless of the toil and turmoil the were subjected to.

At the end of the day, if it had been them, would they have personally taken the fall, or would they have been glad that their colleagues, their compatriots, were willing and able to stand by them in their darkest hour?

I know I would have...

The blurry haze

2009-07-11T23:14:00.000+12:00

Picture credit here

A lot of my readers may be wondering why the past two months have been extremely quiet here in Lobo's Lessons.

Well folks, truth is so much has gone down the past two months I can barely recall anything. It's all one big blur. Next thing I know, the semester has just started again, and I'm left with the question:

..."Where'd my holidays go?"...

Let me fill you in on some of what I can remember from these past two months:

1) End of term - marking frenzy to submit marks on time.

2) Once marking was done, got 2 SPACE UTM classes for part-time students - 1 in Kuching and 1 in JB (thank God...last year it was Kuching and KL).

3) Fly off to Kuching every other weekend, and go straight back to work the following Monday.

4) Teach weekend classes in JB every other weekend, and go straight to work on Monday.

5) Attend MELTA conference while still actively doing what needs to be done back at the faculty.

6) Was awarded post of Head of Committee for level 2 English, in charge of a mixture of 30-odd regular lecturers and part-timers, and not to mention the 2300 students who take the course every single semester

7) Was given post of Committee member in the UTM-TLDM programme

8) Was part of the testing and evaluation committee that vets all examination papers of all the English programmes. Had to do extra work because of a new policy - to have exam papers for regulars, exam papers for SPACE, make-up exam for regulars, make-up exam for SPACE, etc etc.

9) Set up and run department workshops

10)Prepare my PhD proposal.

11) Send my PhD proposal to all prospective universities.

12) Contact prospective supervisors.

13) Go for compulsary JPA research methodology course to qualify for the scholarship.

14) Teach Korean kids.

15) Judge competitions outside uni.

16) Prepare claims that have been backlogged since last year - God knows if I'll get them.

17) Set up and run UTM Toastmasters meetings seeing that I'm Vice-president.

17) And a myriad other things...

Had a tough 2 months? Well, maybe after reading this you'll feel better about your life...

Sounds like I'm being a sour grape here doesn't it?, buuuuut I'm just venting here...

I actually LOVE my job!!! ;)

World, meet Biscuit...Biscuit, meet World...

2009-07-09T23:25:00.000+12:00

Hello everyone,

My name is Biscuit. I'm a Persian kitten, but my daddy says I have some local blood in me because of my stripes. I like my stripes. It makes me look like those tigers I see on TV whenever Daddy turns on Animal Planet. I like Animal Planet.

I love Mummy and Daddy, and abang Adel (he's my big human brother). I like to bite them whenever I can. Sometimes I can hear them screaming when I bite them. This means that they love me.

Abang Adel most probably wants to be a wrestler when he grows up. He likes to practice his moves on me. I don't mind. I just show him that I love him and bite him.

I am very happy in my house. But there is one thing I am confused about. Whenever I go to the toilet in the small blue box with that strange sand, Mummy and Daddy smile. I don't know what the fuss is. I mean, it's sand right? But when I go to the toilet in the big toilet that has all those beautiful plants, they get angry and lock me up for the night. Look at this picture.

See? That's sand isn't it? So it's a toilet isn't it? Really... Mummy and Daddy have to go to school again. There's so much they don't know.

Anyway, that's all for now. I have to switch the computer off because Daddy doesn't know I'm using it.

Bye everyone!

Reunions and Runarounds

2009-07-09T02:27:00.000+12:00

Picture credit here

After a group of friends haven't seen each other in a long time, when they meet up in cyberspace someone is bound to have a brainwave and suggest everyone to get together... A reunion.

So what goes into conceiving and planning a reunion?

First, the idea surfaces somewhere pleasantly, and everyone says 'what a great idea!'... 'it's been so long'... 'Splendid!'... and so on and so forth. Next, someone asks the brilliant question - 'Who's going to plan it?'

Silence...

And then someone suggests a name... and that person suggests another name... and so the buck gets passed, round and round until someone says 'Hey, let's do it in KL... That's a central location... So and so is there, so let's get him to do it!'

And so the hapless guy takes up the challenge, becomes the leader, and starts delegating tasks... and surprise surprise... the ones who were making the most noise are the ones who are least inept and reluctant and taking on the assigned roles... They whinge and whine... Oh, it's too difficult, it's too far away, it's not really possible, bla bla bla...

After which one of the more dependable ones steps up and starts to do what is needed, smoothen a few ruffled feathers, set up communications, start a blog, get some polls started, delegate some tasks...

Then suddenly, the quiet ones start to find their voice again... with little voices... voicing their dissent to the plan... 'Oh...you know... having it at the state where I live would be much better...it's cheap, convenient, bla bla bla...'

At which point this movement starts to snowball and others also find their voices...peeping out... making noise where there was previously silence...

Question is, if they had these brilliant ideas in the first place, why didn't they say something while it was still worth something? Why give their tuppance worth after things have been set in motion, when other people had already spent a few sleepless nights planning and getting things in motion?

So...what goes into conceiving and planning a reunion?

A lot of heated arguments, bickering, and the motherload of all inconveniences...

Let's just hope the end result is worth it.

Of Marks and Misery

2009-05-19T19:37:00.000+12:00

I just had another student coming in, asking to change his marks...

Just 5 more marks for an A-....

Just 5 more marks, so the Saudi Government will not take away my scholarship...

Just 5 more marks so that I can continue to support my brother who is also studying...

The thing is... I liked this chap.

He came to class, did his assignments, scored very high for his coursework...but did badly in his finals...

He came, but didn't beg... Didn't snivel... Didn't cry...

Totally different from the guy who came here last week.

I just wish there was some legitimate way I could help him...

But 5 marks is still 5 marks.

If I give it to him, where would be my integrity? My trustworthiness? My honour?

If I don't have these... Then who am I?

No use crying over spilt milk

2009-05-08T21:42:00.000+12:00

Photo credit here.

I just spent the last 2 hours getting a certain student to leave my room.

He had failed the course due to a few reasons:

1) His English was very weak

2) He regularly skipped classes, and did not even bother coming up with an explanation

3) He missed a consultation assessment, worth 10% of his total marks

4) He missed his final presentation assessment, worth 15% of his total marks

5) He lacked the initiative to even do anything about it until I put out his total marks in the system. Of course by then, the marks would have been finalised

Worst of all, he spent two hours in my room pleading, crying, snivelling, just for me to push up his marks. Two hours of my extremely precious time gone... two hours of my life, snatched away from me...

Some people just can't accept the universal fact - You eat, you pay...

It's just no use crying over spilt milk.

And it's no use crying over two wasted hours of your life listening to sob stories...

My little Daddy's boy...

2009-05-01T22:33:00.000+12:00

It used to be that I was almost a stranger to my son.

I realised that throughout his first year of his 2 and a half-year life, my son would not feel secure unless his mother was there by his side... It wouldn't even matter if I was around or not... it simply did not make any difference to him.

Things got slightly better the next year, but the fact of the matter was that it was nice if Daddy was around, but it wouldn't make too much of a difference, as long as Mummy was there. I may be slightly exaggerating there, but that is how it felt... I would go to work, and 2-3 times a week, come back at night when he was asleep... and when I was home, I would be more interested in relaxing rather than playing with him. But of course I would make the effort if I was feeling up to it.

I realised that this pattern was not good for my relationship with my son... So I tried harder.

I popped back from work during lunch just to bring him out to IOI Mall, where we'd get an Iced Milo and some kaya balls, and sit down together and enjoy the food (of course he would be running around most of the time).

I took him to the playground and basketball court when I wanted to shoot some hoops, even at night after I had come back from work.

I took him for walks around the neighbourhood, yes, even at night after work, and talked with him while walking... even though I'm pretty sure he couldn't understand half of what I said.

I played with him at every opportunity I could, instead of just focusing on work (though that may be because the University holidays are just around the corner).

I talked with him as much as I could.

I tried hard...

And now, praise be to God, all that extra effort has paid off...

My son enjoys my company, and I his.

From this, I learnt that may of us take for granted that relationships between father and son come naturally, and that we do not have to work hard for them...

Boy, was I so wrong...

TESL my TESL...

2009-03-23T03:47:00.000+13:00

Every journey has a beginning, and an ending...

And thus, my wonderful journey that I embarked on as a lecturer to my first Drama in Education cohort is almost coming to an end...

I remember seeing them all, one by one, their faces eager to learn, but shying away in the beginning, all reserved in the small cocoons of their own little worlds...

And when they opened up, one by one, I saw in them different, beautiful personalities, each unique in their own way... each finding a place in my affections...and eventually each finding a place in my heart.

Yesterday night was a special night that marked the ending of this journey with them, on the one hand a sense of overwhelming pride that I had directly played a part in their journeys as teachers, building the very foundation of our nation, and even more so, as human beings, being the very essence of who they were and what they became...

To commemorate this night, I sang for them... A tune that they all knew and loved... A tune that we shared sleepless nights with, working towards the completion of our ultimate project - to put on a show to remember!

Yes, this is the closing of our journey together as teacher and student... But this is only a fork in the road in the journey of our lives... Until we meet again, may the Lord Almighty keep you in His grace and protection...

I love you all...

Beverage of the Ages

2009-03-10T20:53:00.000+13:00

It used to be that I couldn't drink coffee...

I've always loved coffee, but somewhere starting along my mid-20s I developed a condition that would cause me to bloat whenever I indulged in this glorious beverage. As a result, it would be a case of 'eat now, pay later', where all the enjoyment of the present would be counterweighed by the unpleasant consequences of the near future. A painful acid-reflux reaction often does that to people. So the question that I would have to ask myself would be - "How badly do I need that cup of coffee?"

But strangely enough, over the past few weeks, I found that coffee didn't have this averse effect on me anymore...temporary relief or permanent healing? I don't know... Perhaps it's the mangosteen juice that I've been drinking...

Anyhow, from the frying pan into the fire...

Now I can't get enough of that dark delicious aroma... Tantalising my taste buds all through the working day, enticing me into its hot and passionate embrace when I get back from work... That warm feeling of total relaxation and satisfaction of a hot cup of coffee after a long hard day... Priceless...

However, the thing is, although I love the taste of coffee, I just hate the 'buzz'...That feeling where all the senses are amplified and you just can't sit still... It's awful! Just like how a child reacts during a sugar rush!...especially the 'coffee buzz' after a venti mug of Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks...

But why do I keep ordering it?

Sigh... Coffee thou art my undoing...

The Birthday

2009-03-08T04:18:00.000+13:00

Birthdays in my family are usually a happy time - not because we'd have an over the top party or anything, but because it would be the time when the whole family would usually be together, just the share pizza and cake (if for no better reason).

Yesterday was my sister Huda's birthday (Huda the genius - definitely my father's genes all over), but we celebrated it today. Before the party I had the task of looking for her birthday present... The thing is, it's kind of hard to buy presents for girls - buy them a dress and it's not their colour...buy them a skirt and it doesn't fit...so on and so on...so what did I do? Called up the wife and asked for Huda's shoe size...called up my sister Salihah and asked her Huda's shoe size...and bought the safest pair of shoes that were fashionable and could be worn with most colour combinations (and on sale of course!)...hehehehehe... I was so glad she liked them!

However, the party itself was where it hit me the most... all the places that were usually occupied were empty...

My dad was in KL on business, Sameerah & Bruce were in KL; Ammar, Nad & little Aimie, were in KL; Salihah was in UITM Shah Alam; Omer was in MRSM Mersing... I wondered if this was how things were going to be in the future, and with a sense of acceptance, I realised that this is how life was, and will always be...

We only have a short amount of time where we can enjoy being together in the nest of the family, before we all sprout wings and fly away...

I miss my family...

Anas Zubedy's Plea

2009-02-27T03:12:00.000+13:00

Today in the Star, my friend (at least I hope he is) Anas Zubedy made a brave stand against the entire embicility that is our government, and all the involved players called politicians. For those who did not read the full-page advert/plea, I paste its contents below. My hat off to you bro.

Dear Malaysian Politicians,

Please stop the power chase, call for a truce and focus on the economy.

I do not claim to speak on behalf of all Malaysians, but I have strong convictions that many share my sentiments.

Our concern today is not who rules the country or heads the state governments but the looming bad economy.

Whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat leads, it is meaningless if Malaysians have no job to go to, no money to pay rent and no means to put food on the table.

I am a business owner, like other business owners and managers of corporations I have a responsibility to ensure people under my care and payroll continue to have jobs and a decent income to take home. We work hard and willing to go the extra mile to make sure our nation not only survive this crisis but come out stronger and wiser. We need your help.

Let me explain. I am in the business of Training, Development and Consultancy and have 20 people in my team.

Saedah is 42. She keeps the office clean and helps organise the training rooms. She has four children and her husband is unemployed. She was first hired on a part time basis, because she is very hard working and has a great attitude, we offered her a full time job to help provide a stable income for her family. Even then, when her third child started school this year, it was a struggle for her to buy new school uniforms and other necessities. Saedah lives on a ‘kais bulan, makan bulan’ basis, so, if she is jobless, her tap runs dry.

Samsuri is 27 years old. He lives with his sister and her family in a low cost government flat in Sunway. He does our despatch, helps with various clerical works and occasionally acts as a driver. During the first week at zubedy, we learned that he not only did not have money to buy new clothes and shoes for work, he had no money for lunch. Like Saedah, if he has no job, his tap runs dry too.

Alicia in Client Servicing turns 26 this year. She lives with her dad who is 71 years old and retired. Her mom passed away when she was little. Alicia is a hard-working team member, has a gentle caring outlook and fun to be with. (We like to poke fun at her as she blushes easily). Last May her dad went through a major operation, thank God he has recovered well. Alicia needs a job, both for herself and her dad.

Sudesh, 38, is one of our facilitators. When his father passed away last year, he moved back and lives with his mother in Seremban. He shuttles between Kuala Lumpur and Seremban daily, leaving home sometimes as early as 4 in the morning and returning late at night. He is no stranger to hard work and sacrifice, he knows what he needs to do to survive and to care for his mother, but he too needs a job.

Like fellow Malaysians, every one of us in zubedy needs employment, those that live from hand to mouth like Saedah and Samsuri and others like Alicia and Sudesh with family to care for. We Malaysians need the Malaysian economy to be strong. We need you, our leaders, to work hard and to work together to make our economy viable.

So this is my plea.

Pakatan Rakyat, please stop your attempts to take over the federal government and persuade BN’s lawmakers to join you. Stop all legal proceedings, no more 916 and let go, just let go. The nation can wait till the next general elections if they want change. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and gracious and give you their support in the next elections.

Barisan Nasional, please stop any attempts to take over PR states and win over PR’s lawmakers. You have proven your point with Perak. The nation can wait for the next general elections if they want your party. Focus all your talent, energy and hard work in steering the country out of an economic downturn. By doing so, Malaysians will see your party as caring, unselfish and smart and give you their support in the next elections.

BN and PR! Call for a truce. Get together and compromise. Someone has to give in. Or has hate consumed your heart till it blinds you? You can do it. You have enough intelligent people between you. I am sure you can find solutions. Take the nation to heart. That is why you are in politics in the first place.

Focus on the people.

Focus on the economy.

Anas Zubedy
Managing Director
Zubedy (M) Sdn Bhd

Almost from the Land of the Rising Sun

2009-02-21T20:03:00.000+13:00

It's been a hectic 2 days for me here in Putrajaya..Shacked up and slumming in the majestic open vistas of the Putrajaya landscape, as seen from the balcony of the Shangri-La...

These hotel stays are detrimental to my waistline as I am a bit of a gourmand... (enough said). Buuut I try to compensate with trips to the hotel gym and swimming pool.

It was just last weekend I was in KL, and now just under a week later here I am again.. But this time in the capacity as MC for the establishment of the Meiji University Alumni Association of Malaysia, of which university our present PM Pak Lah and our previous PM Tun Dr Mahathir had received honorary doctorates... A rather daunting task for the uninitiated.

But for me I'm happy to say it was a breeze! Another feather in the cap of this MC!

So, after a looooooooooooooooong session of speeches, food, and incessant bowing (of which I am actually very accustomed), it is now finally over.

Overall, a good haul of networking contacts I would say - among them the top brass in Meiji University, and very surprisingly, the managing director of Kinokuniya bookstore in KLCC... Not bad at all...

Now if only the secretary hadn't booked the flight for 7 hours after the event finishes...

Buuuuuuuut you can't have everything can you?

pre - FINAS in the Flamingo

2009-02-16T05:44:00.000+13:00

I write this entry in a beautiful hotel room in the hotel Flamingo by the Lake..

Tomorrow, I face all the bigshots of the local universities who have anything to do with student films in a meeting at FINAS...And I'm wondering what the heck am I doing here? I scan through the name list of the attendees - Dato this, and Tan Sri that, and I see their positions - Deputy Vice Chancellor, Director, Dean... And who am I?

Encik (Mr) Abdullah Bin Mohd Nawi.

What is my post? - lecturer, department of modern languages.

What is my relevance to the local film scene? - I teach drama in education, I supervise theatre performances, I act in the occasional short film... but that's about it...

Honestly... What am I doing here?

Anonymity assured

2009-02-10T23:58:00.000+13:00

Image credit here.

Recently, I visited a blog of a friend who had blogged about a recent hankering for a McDonalds Prosperity Burger.

I was taken aback but not surprised by a comment which was negative towards the entry and its writer, due to the ongoing boycott of McDonalds and other companies allegedly in cahoots with the Zionist regime. I shall save comment on this particular issue as I have had many a debate over it, though I see both camps have a certain sense in their arguments.

The issue here is that the comment had been made anonymously, just as one would write a poison-pen letter, for fear of repercussions of one's convictions. In my view, everyone is entitled to their opinion, whatever it may be, and is welcome try to convince others of these opinions. This in itself is not wrong, but even encouraged here in the academic world.

However, the issue is that when one is absolutely convinced of one's point of view, and has the willpower to voice it out against another point of view, one should be prepared to justify and defend it (in a civilised manner of course). This is also what we teach in the academic world.

Nevertheless, when an opinion is freely dispensed without giving the receiver of the opinion the chance to defend his or her opinions, and the language used less than appropriate, then this would be an act of cowardice.

The power to dispense one's opinions comes with one's accountability.

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Benjamin Parker

Time

2009-02-10T05:05:00.000+13:00

It's just so hard trying to find time to do everything I need to do.

First, I've got to take care of matters at work, which include lectures and tutorials, consultations, research, and a billion other things so minute that it wouldn't be worth the time to mention them.

Second, I've got my personal life to take care of - seeing that I have time for myself as to not burn out, spending time with the wife and kid, spending time with the parents, parents-in-law, family and extended family, and some friends.

Third, I've got to take care my self-development - Seeing to my role as the Vice President of Education in Toastmasters, working my way up up to Competent Communicator and hopefully Competent Leader within the organisation, constantly upgrading my knowledge on my subject matter, and of course, chase that ever elusive PhD proposal that I was supposed to have finished last semester.

Fourth, I've got to take care of the other things as well, Emceeing jobs, giving talks and lectures, facilitating workshops, teaching Korean students English, just to name a few.

Fifth, I've really got to find time to go to the gym. As it is now, I'm lucky if I make it once a week, just to do the treadmill for 15 minutes, and weights for 15 minutes. My target is 3 times a week. I wonder how I'm going to do that?

Sometimes I wonder if 24 hours is ever enough to finish what we have to do... And then I check myself - What we have to do will never finish, no matter how many hours there are in a day.

True wisdom indeed...

TAG - 25 Random Facts

2009-02-04T04:55:00.000+13:00

Ahhh, it's that time of the year again, where bloggers delightfully indulge in the activity called 'tagging', and this time round I have been tagged by Fauziah Ismail. And so, to kill multiple birds with one stone (by answering this tag I also answer previous tags made by some blogger friends), here are 25 random facts about me:

1)I used to be a gaming addict during my student years, playing games from dawn to dusk on my computer and console when I had the time. Not so much anymore, though I do enjoy the occasional game.

2) I first met my wife at the bowling alley. We were both teachers, bringing our bowling teams for the district tournament.

3) I used to think that my name was ‘Ambulat’ when I was about 4, but got to know otherwise a year later. This was probably because my parents always called me by my full name, and that was how it sounded to a small child... Kinda aptly describes my shape now though.

4) To date, I have written 5 songs, most of them during my college/uni years. I have started writing about 7 other songs, but never got round to finishing them.

5) In college, I was never seen without my guitar... kind of like a wandering troubadour playing mostly to myself, but entertaining anyone who wanted to listen.

6) In Uni in England, I sang on stage in a performance and made many women cry when I sang a song about a mother and daughter.

7) When I was at school in England, my artwork was always featured on the walls inside the school corridors, and was always put up in the school art exhibitions, and shown to other students during art class... This made my sister more than a little peeved.

8) I used to write short stories and mini novels when I was in high school... God knows where they are now – I’m not very good at keeping things.

9) My record for not sleeping was during my student years, where I went 3 whole days and nights without sleep to attend classes and finish assignments. This would not have been possible without a massive dose of coffee and cigarettes... Not something I would even REMOTELY try nowadays.

10) Much to the disappointment of my father, I started smoking when I was in Kuwait, went off it for a while finishing high school back in Malaysia, and went back on cigarettes in college. Was known to be one of the heavier smokers back then. My apologies Dad... I was young and stupid.

11) Quit smoking for good in 1999. I went cold turkey. It was hell for the first 3 months, and very bad for the next year or so, and just bad for the following year. During this time I never lit up even once. And Alhamdulillah, after about 3 years, I was finally rid of the curse of the cigarette. I've been clean for a full decade now. My advice to others – Don’t even start smoking, unless you’re willing to put in 3 long years of ‘rehab’.

12) I wanted to be a lawyer after high school, but didn’t manage to get a place in Uni in Law. TESL was my fourth choice.

13) In college, I hated being called ‘teacher’ or ‘cikgu’. It was just so uncool.

14) After starting to work as a teacher, I loved being called ‘cikgu’. It just made interaction with other people so easy.

15) I never knew what life in a FELDA settlement was like before I started teaching in Bandar Tenggara. Prior to that, I had always thought of FELDA settlements as being no more than a bunch of wooden houses in the middle of a rubber plantation.

16) My corporate image is black trousers, black shirt, black blazer, no tie, with 2 buttons open. Also the gold shine of my Parker pen arrow in my shirt pocket would be the only accessory I have on my ensemble.

17) I am now an experienced and accomplished debater and public speaker, but I actually froze on stage during my very first public speech at age 12. This humiliating experience haunted me until I left primary school.

18) There was a time when I used to be obsessive-compulsive, like Adrian Monk, but I’m actually much better now. However, sometimes if my students are very observant , they might catch me lining up my books, marker pens and files all exactly parallel to each other.

19) I have acted with Nabil Raja Lawak in a UTM produced short-film. This was before his popularity sky-rocketed.

20) When I have the time, I will decorate my house with abstract paintings that I am going to paint myself...But I need to learn oil-painting techniques first.

21) I have multiple sports injuries that I have picked up over the years, two of them permanent – dislocated wrist from weight-lifting, and injured knees also from weight-lifting.

22) I used to be a weightlifter for Terengganu, preparing for the 1996 SUKMA. I was cut 3 days from the competition, because of the injuries that I had sustained 2 weeks before.

23) I think it is horrible and unacceptable the way some Malaysians (especially Malays) treat some Bangladeshis and Africans. This is because many of these people (the Malays) have never felt what it is like to be a minority outside their home country.

24) I think I would have done well as an interior designer. I think I am artistic, and have a good grasp of how colours and patterns go together. Just give me a good budget, and I’ll transform your home (I think).

25) I can’t believe how much personal stuff I have divulged in this entry.

I'm not one to impose any tagging on people, but I do think it is a fun way of knowing anyone who reads this blog. So, let's do it this way - if you've read my tag, consider yourself tagged, and give me a buzz to let me know when you've completed the tag. It would be absolutely superb to get to know you more. Please do!

We are Family

2009-01-30T21:06:00.000+13:00

Can Christians and Muslims co-exist on God's Earth?

By right we should be able to, as among all the religions in the world, we are most closely bound together by blood and faith. We are sibling religions, and yet we have waged war amongst ourselves since the time of the Crusades, and still do until today, spilling precious blood for the glory of what we perceive our religions to be.

Yes, there is a time for war. However, there is a time for peace.

I was going through this blog that I recently discovered, and found a diamond in the rough. It would seem that I am not alone in my views. I repost the entry taken from here:

I congratulate the Perak Mufti Datuk Seri Dr Harussani Zakaria as 2008’s recipient of the Tokoh Maal Hijrah. I would also like to thank him in making clear that Islam is tolerant towards the other faiths.

As he quoted, “We do not condemn Jesus because he, too, is a prophet in Islam. Neither do we destroy the many temples and places of worship because our religion refrains us from doing so”.

The Mufti was probably echoing the following Quranic verse,

"(They are) those who have been expelled from their homes in defiance of right,- (for no cause) except that they say, "our Lord is Allah... Did not Allah check one set of people by means of another, there would surely have been pulled down monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques, in which the name of Allah is commemorated in abundant measure. Allah will certainly aid those who aid his (cause); - for verily Allah is full of Strength, Exalted in Might, (able to enforce His Will)."(Quran 22:40)

It is important that we make things clear especially for the Muslim masses that the Quran has a very practical view about our Christian brothers. The Quran suggest that as like the Muslims, they are both good and bad Christians, a realistic view indeed.

The Quran says,
"Not all of them are alike: Of the People of the Book are portions that stand (For the right): They rehearse the Signs of Allah all night long, and they prostrate themselves in adoration" (Quran 3:113)

and

"Strongest among men in enmity to the believers wilt thou find the Jews and Pagans; and nearest among them in love to the believers wilt thou find those who say, "We are Christians": because amongst these are men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant. "(Quran 5:82)

There is a need to help both sides understand each other better. I recommend the following books for the English speaking population.

To understand the philosophy of Islam, read Kalam Azad’s ‘The Opening Chapter of the Quran’. For a big picture of the Quranic worldview read Fazlur Rahman’s ‘Major Themes of the Quran’. If you want to read only one book about Christianity, I highly recommend Albert Nolan’s ‘Jesus Before Christianity’.

In the longer run, best to read The Quran and The Bible for yourself and today, both are readily available on the net.

Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve. (Quran 2 :62)

It is my sincere hope that one day we might be able to push past our differences, and finally live in peace. Real Peace.

Wallahualam

Awaken the Racer within

2009-01-24T00:58:00.000+13:00

Photo credit here

There is something almost irresistable when a motorcyclist is faced with a red light.

He stops (if he loves life). Soon, one by one, his brethren start forming a line on both sides, each stopping as if held by the invisible shield of the red traffic lights.

Each biker a stranger, on different bikes, from different walks of life.

Each trying not to be seen looking at one another, though one does catch discreet glimpses at individual bikes, marveling at bigger and tougher bikes, and triumphing over the smaller, cheaper bikes.

Each pair of eyes fixed to the traffic lights ahead of them, not daring to miss a beat for fear that they would be left behind in the oncoming onslaught of heavy traffic behind them. Brothers in arms, for sixty seconds, until the changing of the light.

Soon there is an elecric quality of excitement buzzing in the air.

VROOM! VROOM! engines are revved mere seconds before the lights change to the all-powerful colour of the US currency.

5...

4..

3..

2..

1..

Wrench your accelerator, and feel your bike surge into the night.

Feel the all-empowering sense of satisfaction as you break away from the pack, leading the race that compels every motorist...

Eat my dust losers!

The Reason

2009-01-19T04:21:00.000+13:00

It was with no little pleasure that I stepped once more into the granduer of JB's former number 1 spot for retail therapy - City Square.

If I recall correctly I hadn't been there for more than an year and a half... Not because I was boycotting (the catchword of the day) anything there. There simply wasn't anything uniquely there that I couldn't find anywhere else. If I wanted to shop for basic daily goods and hang out at a mall that provided most of the things I need, I could go to IOI Mall which is a mere 5 minutes drive from my house. If I wanted to catch a movie, I could go for the full monty in Jusco Tebrau, where the screens are huge, the sound systems crazy, and

the parking free with the ownership of a Jusco card (instead of the RM10++ which is usually charged for the timed parking in City Square). Basically there was no real need for me to brave the traffic and being stuck in the notorious traffic.

But, just for old time's sake, I figured why not...

Because finally, they had a new reason for me to go - JCo Donuts & Coffee...

Ahhhhhhh...JCo...

Where the donuts are fluffy and the fillings always brimming to the top... Where the smell of tantalises your tastebuds even when you stand in line for half an hour, just to get a glimpse of those heavenly round treats... Where the cream filling just oozes out from the side of your mouth at every bite, leaving you grinning, while the chocolate drips from your lips, and the cream wrecking your favourite tie...

You don't care...

Once you have a JCo donut (or a Big Apple donut), you will never be the same again... If some fine day, someone says to you "Let's go to Dunkin Donuts", your answer will be:

"Dunkin what?"...

Picture credit here

Disclaimer: JCo Donuts is in no way paying me to write this article, even though I have repeatedly banged on their doors.

Inspiration in half-light

2009-01-16T17:50:00.000+13:00

It's been a sombre time in my house for the past week now - all because my wife had fallen sick... pity the poor girl. This meant that when I'd arrive home at night, dinner would be prepared, and then after that she would go for her prayers, and then straight away nod off. Overworked, underpaid, and sick... Pity her.

This also meant an extremely loooooong period of being by myself at home - pity me... :)

But yesterday was different. After dinner, I went up to my bedroom, switched on the air-cond, dimmed all the lights, and drew open the curtains to the splendour of the view of Gunung Pulai in the half-light.

It was beautiful... the light of the moon reflected off the surface of the rooftops and the palm trees of the golf course surrounding us... The streetlights eminating a warm glow to the streets below them, as if inviting the world to bask in their quiet radiance... Like smiles of familiar faces in a vast unknown sea of strangers.

I was at peace.

I picked up my guitar and arranged my fingers to chords that were second nature to the artist within me. I strummed the chords, one by one, and slowly but surely, a new melody emerged.

I began to write a song.

Men, Women and GPS

2009-01-12T04:06:00.000+13:00

Sometimes one wonders how our two species even co-exist on the same planet here on Earth (though I do not dispute that I cannot do without these heavenly creatures). I know that it's a cliche, but men and women really have different ways of communicating. In this post and in some other future posts I will try to decipher some of the wonderful and mysterious ways that women try to convey their messages with.

I think, one that remains a delightful mystery is the method of communication that I like to call the "Tone and Pitch GPS device". For some reason, I've noticed that many women that I've come into contact with have the abilty to transfer coded map information in the pitch and tone of their voices. It's a wonderfully mysterious device that I seem to have been born without... And oh how I wish I could own one. Allow me to illustrate:

During my sister's wedding recently, almost all my uncles and aunts attended, and of course, while they were in JB they managed to get in touch with their friends and some made arrangements to meet up. It was then that I was introduced to this one Datin who was a friend of my aunt. Delighted to see her old friend, she (the Datin) insisted that I drive my aunt over to her house when I had the time. I of course obliged, and like any good designated chauffer, I asked the wonderfully loudspoken Datin where her house was...

Upon which she said "Oh, you know the Kempas road?"

Upon which I shook my head to indicate my polite ignorance.

Upon which she said again, but in a slightly higher tone, tingling with the slightest twinge of a vibrato (which of course helped to send the coordinates) "You know, the Kempas road?"

Again, because of an absent decoder, I said "No...", but I did what any normal male would do - get my bearings and try to work from a common landmark. So I dutifully asked "OK, let's say if I were to approach the Pasir Gudang highway and go up the flyover, would that take me closer to your house?"

At first, I could see her pause for thought (about one and a half seconds I believe it was), as she tried to comprehend the concept of finding a common landmark.

"Erm.." She began, "When you reach the Pasir Gudang... erm... Flyover... you... erm..."

I could see that it was all a bit too much for her, and I could see how distressed she was at how inept I was at reading her encoded GPS signals in the tone and pitch of her voice, so she gave me one final treat - a full frequency encoding through her most powerful tone and pitch modulators "OH YOU KNOW...THE KEMPAS ROAD? THE KEMPAS ROAD?" all the while smiling and nodding enthusiastically "THE KEMPAS ROAD???"

Of course raising her pitch and tone made me know the exact coordinates her house was at... If I was a woman that was...

But... Unfortunately my masculine body was not equipped to handle this kind of subtle communication. I did what any male would do, when trying to please a woman...

Feign understanding, nod, and smile.

The wisdom of House

2009-01-04T00:56:00.000+13:00

"One day, One room"

A quotation by the doctor everyone just can't help but to like, dislike, and admire all at the same time - Dr Gregory House.

Life is a series of rooms. When you enter a room, you will find someone there. This is the person who will share that part of your life with... Whether you choose to like him or her is irrelevant, and this does not only pertain to girlfriends, boyfriends, etc... This includes the best friend you had during childhood, the school bully in your teenage years, and even the old lady that sweeps your school grounds.

You don't choose who you share the room with.

You merely spend a certain amount of time with them, before walking to the door, twisting its handle, and walking out... Where you will walk a few feet to the next room in line, and open the next door...

That is life.

Once we truly understand this do we realise our relationships with the thousands of people we all meet in our lifetime - Make the most of every room, and make the most of the people you share that room with. You may see them again... Or you may not...

One day, one room.

Waiting for The One

2008-12-25T18:41:00.001+13:00

How do you decide if the person that you are with will be The One?

This is a rather tough question I think, one that does not have a real solid answer.

Do you list down all the criteria you look for in a perfect match, and tick them down methodically as you progress through a number of partners, and then decide who scores the highest?

Do you look for someone who can give you the security of a good marriage - good religious upbringing, loving personality, safe relationship? Or do you go on the wild side, and look for someone who makes your world go round, someone who makes sparks fly when you are with them, someone who fills you with the highest level of passion? Is that what you would look for in a marriage?

Of course, ideally, you would want it to be a combination of all the above, but what if you don't get all that, and you had to choose between the two?...

Or would you let God help you in making that decision... In making impossible to make the choice, until The One indeed comes along?

In the end, I think if you really, really find it difficult, put your trust in God, and he will lead you the way...

You should not have to compromise when it comes to marriage.

I'm glad I waited for The One...

And I'm glad my sister did too...

May you have a wonderful life ahead of you Sameerah and Bruce.

Congratulations on your wedding, and God Bless...

And she arrives, at long last

2008-12-19T07:14:00.000+13:00

It was like time stood still as I walked through the passageways of the Kulai Hospital...

So many memories, both good and bad...

But the best memory here would be walking down these very halls to see my newborn son, just over two years ago. Two years and still fresh in my mind, the feelings of absolute rapture, of absolute love, when I first held my little boy in my hands... My son.

De ja vu...

But this time, as I enter the ward, I am greeted by the the tired smile of my sister-in-law, spent from 36 hours of labour, looking every bit as tired as my own dear wife when she delivered too. My mother looking lovingly at her second grandchild... Two days before the wedding of her own second child - my sister. My brother, every bit the proud father, looking adoringly, almost moony-eyed, at his newborn daughter.

Welcome to the family, Aimie Sophie Binti Ammar...

Long have we waited for you, my little niece.

Attention to TLDM cadets

2008-12-17T00:46:00.000+13:00

This post is an announcement to TLDM cadets. Apologies to my other readers.

Cadets, If you are reading this, please take note that I have yet to receive the name list which was supposed to be given to me by your cadet CO. The list should contain names and email addresses.
Additionally, I need to get into contact with one of you to send the questionnaire that I told you about before I left. Please e-mail me at abdullahmnawi@utm.my, or amnlobo77@hotmail.com ASAP. This delay has been a great inconvenience.

Thank you.

Lobo's Lessons

I'm going home...

Screw you Ainis Aziz, you B***h!!!

Lu Ingat Saya Ni Bodo Ka??? (You Think I'm Stupid???)

Suicide - inevitable or avoidable?

Post 22 February Christchurch Earthquake

CHRISTCHURCH EARTHQUAKE 22 FEBRUARY 2011

Study on Hearing-impaired student (Taken off my PhD Blog)

Forever friends - how long is forever?

Life and Proposal

Aku, Bini dan Ginger Beer

Adel and his ball

Reflections of Ramadhan and Eid Mubarak from quake-stricken Christchurch

Day 5 - from building to body

Update - Day 3

Aftermath

The end of the world - what a 7.1 magnitude earthquake feels like at 4.35am

SHOWCASE10

Of chins and Ramadhan

Once a teacher always a teacher - Part 2

Once a teacher always a teacher?

To Sir with love

Kia ora from Aotearoa

Going (written on a Boeing 747 at 16000 feet)

Long wait over

Midnight drive

One thing you can't beat here

Midnight jogs no more

A long walk, and a new addition

Pause to reflect

More Information Please

Make RM*** a day logging on to *******???

Wordpress depressed

HTML masochism

Literary nightmare, literally...

Memories of Kuwait Al-Hur

Moneyporn

Neil Armstrong - The undying rumour of the Muslim world

Time, Tide and The Grim Reaper

Open Relationship my A**!

DELL Technical Support - Not half bad...

Term-end blues

Of Visas and Valium

Aiyoo tarak mata kaaa? (a.k.a Hello Singapore!)

Worms, maggots and mud

Cheapskate or just plain stoopid?

White Ribbon

Blog Spammers

Perjanjian Rasulullah dengan Orang Kristian pada 628 Masihi

Christians and Muslims... Know you not your own history?

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree...

Time (edited)

Indoctri-Nation for the Nation (Part 1)

And it all crumbles to dust..

Tired mind...

Quote of the Day

And they grow up so fast

Cow's head conundrum

My makeshift office

Life's Brief Candle

Blunder and the Beast

The blurry haze

World, meet Biscuit...Biscuit, meet World...

Reunions and Runarounds

Of Marks and Misery

No use crying over spilt milk

My little Daddy's boy...

TESL my TESL...

Beverage of the Ages

The Birthday

Anas Zubedy's Plea

Almost from the Land of the Rising Sun

pre - FINAS in the Flamingo

Anonymity assured

Time

TAG - 25 Random Facts

We are Family

Awaken the Racer within

The Reason

Inspiration in half-light

Make RM* a day logging on to *****???