Lobo's Lessons

No, this post is not about the TV show. Today on Facebook, I was very much surprised to see very tense comments on a friend's page. Funny thing was, these tense comments weren't random comments made to outsiders, but were targeted comments, insults and veiled threats, between people I have known and befriended since my high school years. These were the people that I would go fishing with, or take long trips to the countryside just to get coconuts from their family estates. We were beside each other in spite of the trials and tribulations of school life, with exams, girls, science experiments and school bullies all threatening to make it a living hell. And today, after not speaking to each other for about 15 years, and reconnecting through Facebook, a smart comment here, an angry retort there, and very soon after - an invitation to fight it out if the other party had any further problems. This leads me to explore the question - are friends really forever? Is it some sympat...

When you're stuck at a proposal your life doesn't seem to move forward. Ask that to the sweating man whose heart is pounding like a hammer while he is down on one knee, holding out a gold ring, waiting for the fateful answer... It's like time stands still. The same concept applies to the man in the office, sweating it out in the hot summer sun, shivering it out in the cold summer rain, typing and typing away, just so that a bunch of very highly placed professors get the chance to critique his work and shred it to bits before they give the OK for him to proceed with the next phase of his life. That, dear friends, is the proposal. And that is how I have been spending these past few months. It's not like I've been slogging day and night over it; I have had time to do other things, but I guess the combination of a few factors has made it seem rather daunting. First off, I am now working on a deadline. I was supposed to have sent the proposal in on 31 December, b...

Aku haus... Tekakku yang kering ini menginginkan rasanya yang menenangkan jiwa itu... Perasaannya apabila ku menggenggam botol kacanya yang sejuk dan berwap-wap dan mengangkatnya keluar peti ais kecilku, perasaannya seperti seorang kanak-kanak Taman Keramat memegang aiskrim Malaysia 10sen pada hari yang panas membara... Riang... Nikmat... Penantian yang menyiksakan, tetapi penantian yang lazat... Dengan pergerakan yang perlahan seperti 'slow-motion' dalam sinetron Indonesia kegemaran surirumah-surirumah di Malaysia, muncung botol Ginger Beer kegemaranku mampir bibirku yang terketar-ketar sedikit, sehinggalah aku dapat rasa cecair yang sejuk membasahi tekakku... Nikmat... Sedap tidak terperi... Aku menghulurkan kepada biniku, dan dia juga meneguk kenikmatan... Aku menadah tangan meminta kembali Ginger Beer kesayanganku yang berjenama Bundaberg buatan New Zealand. Saat itu tidak tiba-tiba... Aku tertanya-tanya... Mata terkebil-kebil... "Ni saya punya y...

If you ask me now, I wouldn't really be able to tell what life was like back in Malaysia. It's like it was another life altogether. To tell you the truth, the only bits and pieces that I do remember were going to work at uni, and then going to work tutoring the Koreans, and then going home, and then going to sleep... Oh of course there were the occasional nights out, movies, dinner and so on, but they seemed to pale in comparison to the crushing weight of work and responsibility. And if you were to ask me what I remembered of my son back home, I would say I remember him sleeping when I went to work, and sleeping when I got back from work... but of course there would be the weekends that we would enjoy together, where I would take him to the lake gardens and we would go jogging together with his mother, and we would end the morning with a trip to the local Mamak restaurant, where he would order his favourite items on the menu without fail - roti telur with dhal, and iced M...

Image credit here It is the last day of Ramadhan. I pause to reflect on the events that have transpired this past month. So many questions come to mind - Did I make full use of the Ramadhan? Did I manage to get closer to God? Was there anything that I could have done differently? And the answer always seems to fall short of what I want. It is not the not eating and drinking part that I have found difficult the past month. The challenge for me was more of the other aspects of Ramadhan: having to avert my eyes at impure sights ( a big challenge here), avoiding impure thoughts, and most of all, sustaining my supplementary prayers and du'a throughout the entire month. But Alhamdulillah, I am glad to report that I did manage the latter - I almost always managed to pray and additional solat taubah and solat hajat after my tarawih, and an additional solat taubah and hajat after Subuh prayers. Of this I am infinitely grateful that Allah gave me the strength and will-power to acc...

As I am writing this I feel weak, not able to concentrate properly. Only my strong desire to chronicle my experience here has given me the push to type out this entry on my iPhone. It's still relatively under control, this thing my body is experiencing. Yesterday night, it started with burning and spasming in my stomach. I just couldn't sit upright. Lying down made the pain bearable. It was now 1130pm, a time when I would usually pray my supplementary Tarawih prayers for Ramadhan, but I just didn't have the strength for it. And so I slept. Or try to sleep. The dreams I have just keep on referring to the burning in my stomach. I can't remember the last time it hurt this bad. An aftershock rocks the house slightly. I wake up at 3.30 in the morning to a dream that was very unnerving - I dreamt that my stomach acids had burnt away my stomach and mouth. I shake off the dream, and drag myself to make ablutions and pray my Tarawih. As I pray, every movement seems like swimming...

It is now the third day into the Canterbury Earthquake crisis. Only now are we beginning to grasp the full extent of the damage and trauma Cantabrians face. So far there have been 15,000 insurance claims on damages, and a full 50% of the homes in Canterbury have been damaged in some way. As I watch the news, my heart goes out to those whose homes have been totally demolished, or condemned. Homes, old and new, some worth a million dollars or more per house, all gone in the blink of an eye. Some have no electricity, no toilet facilities, no running water. Stories have cropped up today of so many close calls, of bricks falling down exactly where there people's heads had been just moments before, some of people suddenly falling into silt and quicksand, but managing to to escape. Many were in tears as the news crews interviewed them, voices shaking, still reeling from the shock at the events that had transpired over the past three days. Even my fellow Malaysians here were n...