Cheapskate or just plain stoopid?

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(Dear reader, I know this entry is a bit long but I really need your opinion on this matter. Don't worry it's not a heavy read)

PROLOGUE

I have this friend.

I remember him being an OK friend.. a bit of halitosis, but nothing holding one's breath can't fix.

Like I said, he's an OK (in a sort of so-so way) friend. Academics wasn't his thing (anything that involved learning), though he did try ever so hard, bless his soul. Then he got into business in a big way doing MLM, and because of his family connections he managed to become quite prosperous.

Calls every once in around 6 months, usually when he's in JB for his business.

But starting from around a year ago I was loathe to pick up his calls. When I see the number on my phone I cringe because I can't stand what a cheapskate he is.

Here is a chronology. Judge for yourselves.

1) Four years ago. I was a struggling language instructor. He comes down to JB for business. We meet up for the first time after a long while. I am enthusiastic about buying him dinner. Problem was I didn't have cash on me. After hunting for 30 minutes for a ATM that was working finally I give up. Swallowing my pride, I borrow RM10 so we can have a meal together. I pay for my food and drink and his drink using that money.

Note: If we were in the same position, and I saw my friend in the dilemma that I was in, especially one that I had not seen in a long time, and he was kind enough to be enthusiastic about buying me dinner (even a measly plate of fried rice), I would not have hesitated to volunteer to pay... Not having to see my friend swallow his pride and ask me to lend him money because all the ATMs were out of service.

2) Two years ago. I was already a lecturer in UTM. I go to KL with my colleagues because we have an assignment in there. I call up my friend and tell him I'm in town. He insists on picking me up for lunch. I am a bit reluctant because I know my colleagues are going to have lunch, and hang out at some cool spots until dinner. But I think 'what the heck...he is my friend'. So I get into my friend's car and we drive off.

He asks 'where do you wanna have lunch?'.

I say 'Anywhere...'

He says 'I don't mind'

I say 'Let's go somewhere where we can spend time and catch up.. KLCC?'

He says 'sure'...

So we go to KLCC. Upon arrival at the food court he says 'I'll wait for you here. I wanna get Ice-cream' . He gets his ice-cream, sits down and eats it. I am a bit surprised that I was expected to pay for a lunch that he invited me to.

I get my food. Only have RM20 left in my wallet. I sit at his table. I listen to him drone on.

Next, I want to test him. I remember that 2 years ago I had borrowed RM10 to have dinner with him, which also paid for his drink. I give him the money, half-expecting him to say 'No.. keep it... besides, I invited you... So I'm paying'...

But no...

He smiles and says 'So you do remember..."

I fake a smile.

The evening drones on. Finally he says 'I gotta go pick up my kids. I can't send you to your hotel I'm afraid'

I cringe...

He invites me out... Doesn't pay for anything... And then leaves me out to dry...

A good thing another old friend comes along (bless his heart), and takes me under his wing. First thing he does -

Brings me to Dome cafe and says 'Order whatever you want... It's on me'

What a Godsend for a traveler who only has RM10 in his pocket.

Next, another old friend comes and takes me out to dinner. He too says 'What are you going to have? I'm buying'.

As I head home in this friend's car, I get a call from the cheapskate. He wants to take me out tomorrow again.

I politely make an excuse to decline.

NOTE: In my rulebook, there are two occasions in which I would normally treat my friend. One, if my friend were on my turf, and he came traveling from afar. Two, if I am the one who calls up my friend (but there is usually an understanding in which normal people take turns). He calls me up, making me miss out on some good time with my colleagues, and he doesn't even pay for lunch. Look what the other two friends did.

3) Another visit to KL. He gets to know about it. I invite him over to the swanky restaurant my colleagues and I were having dinner at. He comes over and has a drink (on us of course).

He invites me to lunch tomorrow.

I politely make an excuse to decline.

4) He comes over to JB for a business trip. A successful MLM businessman has to do that you know. He calls me up. I can't escape. I take him out to dinner. My treat. He asks me to send him back to his hotel about 20km from where I met up with him which meant I would have to send him 20km, and then drive back to the point of origin for 20km, and then drive myself home for another 20km... A total of 60km in a night just so that he doesn't have to call a cab.

I ask myself 'is he for real???'.

I politely make an excuse to decline.

5) About 6 months back, I go to Putrajaya for an emceeing job. I meet up with the guy who showed me compassion and friendship at Dome cafe (story number 2). I return the favour and buy him dinner 'cos I'm the one who invited him.

During our chat he says 'Can you believe it? Our friend (the cheapskate) calls me up and invites me out to dinner. During the dinner he drones on about his business opportunity (the MLM). After listening to him for THREE hours. He just waits. I had to pay!! Can you believe it???'

EPILOGUE

And so dear readers, after a lengthy tirade of bottled up emotions that I have kept inside for many years, I leave it to you to judge.

Am I a bad friend for not picking up his phone call yesterday? It probably meant he was in town and wanted to see me.

What do you think - Cheapskate or just plain stoopid?