Skip to main content

My little Daddy's boy...


It used to be that I was almost a stranger to my son.

I realised that throughout his first year of his 2 and a half-year life, my son would not feel secure unless his mother was there by his side... It wouldn't even matter if I was around or not... it simply did not make any difference to him.

Things got slightly better the next year, but the fact of the matter was that it was nice if Daddy was around, but it wouldn't make too much of a difference, as long as Mummy was there. I may be slightly exaggerating there, but that is how it felt... I would go to work, and 2-3 times a week, come back at night when he was asleep... and when I was home, I would be more interested in relaxing rather than playing with him. But of course I would make the effort if I was feeling up to it.

I realised that this pattern was not good for my relationship with my son... So I tried harder.

I popped back from work during lunch just to bring him out to IOI Mall, where we'd get an Iced Milo and some kaya balls, and sit down together and enjoy the food (of course he would be running around most of the time).

I took him to the playground and basketball court when I wanted to shoot some hoops, even at night after I had come back from work.

I took him for walks around the neighbourhood, yes, even at night after work, and talked with him while walking... even though I'm pretty sure he couldn't understand half of what I said.

I played with him at every opportunity I could, instead of just focusing on work (though that may be because the University holidays are just around the corner).

I talked with him as much as I could. 

I tried hard...

And now, praise be to God, all that extra effort has paid off...

My son enjoys my company, and I his.

From this, I learnt that may of us take for granted that relationships between father and son come naturally, and that we do not have to work hard for them... 


Boy, was I so wrong... 


Comments

A t i Q a h said…
Cute Adel. Be a good son ya boy. :)
Miss Mathew said…
Hey Lobo! OMG! ur boy has grown up! & really fast! Didnt knw u hv a blog..thx to FB, now I knw :)

~Fidelia
Hey Fidelia Mathew!!! How r u?
percicilan said…
wah ur son kecik kecik dah pandai melaram.. macam bapak dier kot? :P
Hahahahaha!!!

Bapak dia mana ada melaram...
Dah mmg natural hensem...haaaahahahahahaha!!!
izzati fuad said…
it's good that u realised it early u know. :)
arsaili said…
salam kenal..bro im happy for u sebab aware of the important hubungan anak ayah ni...sebab in our tradition, anak biasa rapat ngan ibu....sebab tu bila besar kita ada masalah in term of manisfestation of love to our dad..nak kiss or hug pun malu, dia pun awkward...so kena built dr awal la positive relationship ni...
But i do hug n kiss my dad...
Ijat - it is indeed a blessing
salam kenal bro arsaili,

Thanks for dropping by and leaving ur feedback. Yes, I do think it's something that we definitely need to work upon. Like you, alhamdulillah, my relationship with my own dad managed to be saved quite a number of years back. I think it took a lot of give and take on both myself and my father... Dah dewasa baru betul2 dapat rapat dgn my dad...and like you, i too now hug and kiss my dad, which was something quite awkward until about 4 years ago...

I hope that my son and I don't have to go through the same long process I went through to really enjoy my dad...

Hope to see you drop by again sometime....
Anonymous said…
Salam Bro,

Looking major cool with the haircut.. Bonding; well, my dad and i are chums; so much so we talk like two friends.. And it might sound disrespecting to many, but I call him by numerous nicknames and he's ok with it.. So, I guess you're on the right track, bro..

Che
Che,

Nice to see u here again mate...
I do believe that people are missing out when they do not bond with their fathers...
numerous nicknames? whoah... kudos bro..

And thank u about the hair cut... too bad the missus wasn't too crazy on it...

(WHYYYYYYYYYY??? I believe was her initial response)
Iman Hayat said…
"of course he would be running around most of the time"

and jumping and hiding socks and stuffing socks in his shirt and kickin around bottles pretending he's a football star.

he's cool~!
Hahahahaha!!!
Iman, I do believe u have summed up my son quite effectively...
Maz Al Eidrus said…
Dolloh... baca entry ni, rasa kesian sangat kat Sepu berjauhan dgn Irdina... jarang2 jumpa... but syukur gak Irdina enjoy bila babahnya ada, plus terlebih manja... tolongla doakan supaya maz leh pindah sana cepat2...

this is the time anak2 sayang kat kita unconditionally... perlu hargai peluang yang ada...

bila boleh jumpa family2 dating lagi ni?
Syafiq Suraji said…
n dat made u a goo dad...
coz good dad was a person
who care enough to scure
the family knot...
im happy 4 u sir...
fartini said…
lobo, yes we have to try to get closer with our kids.good both of u are now good friends.
Gukita said…
Waaahhh... Lama tak tengok.. Dah besar dah Adel.. He's beginning to look like Abd Rahman..
Galadriel said…
Adel is so lucky to have such a great Bear of a Daddy!

Popular posts from this blog

Help is always far away

Help is never far away. That is the old adage that has been drummed into us ever since we were young. No matter where you are, and what difficulty you are going through, someone will be close at hand to help. Except they aren't. Many a time no one in your vicinity gives a rat's ass. Or could be in a mess of their own to even think that someone else may need the support. Just that little bit of assurance to show that they care. Sometimes it can be in the smallest things. A kind word. A check up of how one is doing. Yet help does come. Someone takes the time to respond, in short messages, all the way from across the Pacific Ocean. Someone does take the time to relate, and share their own experiences, and offers words of comfort from across the country. Yes, help is at hand, but it is always far away. *picture credit here

The Forbidden Kingdom No More

Yesterday is a day that would forever go down the sands of time as... "The Day I Fed Two Hundred Ravenous Mouths with Bottomless Pits" Oh the horror!... The Pain!... The Suffering!!! Like a swarm of locusts they came, wave upon wave upon wave... Like a farmer protecting his crop I could only look on and stare, as they darkened the sky, before zeroing in for the kill... Tears streamed down my eyes as I watched them strip every last grain of maize and corn that I had planted at the begininning of the year... My knees thudded to the ground, as I numbly watched the carnage around me, my tired brain barely registering what my eyes perceived. "So this is what it feels like"... I thought in my brain... "This thing called Open House" . .. ... Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I'm just being dramatic here ;) Yesterday was actually a day that I'm going to remember for a long time, simply because it was graced with the presence of those eager young minds I he

My nightmare come true

This is it. It's finally happened. The stuff of bad dreams for many language teachers has today materialised for me, rearing its ugly head, scoffing at my abilities as a language professional. This is an actual letter from one of my students as part of their coursework. Final year student. Soon to graduate and meet the workforce of the nation. Read it and weep...