I realised that throughout his first year of his 2 and a half-year life, my son would not feel secure unless his mother was there by his side... It wouldn't even matter if I was around or not... it simply did not make any difference to him.
Things got slightly better the next year, but the fact of the matter was that it was nice if Daddy was around, but it wouldn't make too much of a difference, as long as Mummy was there. I may be slightly exaggerating there, but that is how it felt... I would go to work, and 2-3 times a week, come back at night when he was asleep... and when I was home, I would be more interested in relaxing rather than playing with him. But of course I would make the effort if I was feeling up to it.
I realised that this pattern was not good for my relationship with my son... So I tried harder.
I popped back from work during lunch just to bring him out to IOI Mall, where we'd get an Iced Milo and some kaya balls, and sit down together and enjoy the food (of course he would be running around most of the time).
I took him to the playground and basketball court when I wanted to shoot some hoops, even at night after I had come back from work.
I took him for walks around the neighbourhood, yes, even at night after work, and talked with him while walking... even though I'm pretty sure he couldn't understand half of what I said.
I played with him at every opportunity I could, instead of just focusing on work (though that may be because the University holidays are just around the corner).
I talked with him as much as I could.
I tried hard...
And now, praise be to God, all that extra effort has paid off...
My son enjoys my company, and I his.
From this, I learnt that may of us take for granted that relationships between father and son come naturally, and that we do not have to work hard for them...
Boy, was I so wrong...
Comments
~Fidelia
Bapak dia mana ada melaram...
Dah mmg natural hensem...haaaahahahahahaha!!!
But i do hug n kiss my dad...
Thanks for dropping by and leaving ur feedback. Yes, I do think it's something that we definitely need to work upon. Like you, alhamdulillah, my relationship with my own dad managed to be saved quite a number of years back. I think it took a lot of give and take on both myself and my father... Dah dewasa baru betul2 dapat rapat dgn my dad...and like you, i too now hug and kiss my dad, which was something quite awkward until about 4 years ago...
I hope that my son and I don't have to go through the same long process I went through to really enjoy my dad...
Hope to see you drop by again sometime....
Looking major cool with the haircut.. Bonding; well, my dad and i are chums; so much so we talk like two friends.. And it might sound disrespecting to many, but I call him by numerous nicknames and he's ok with it.. So, I guess you're on the right track, bro..
Che
Nice to see u here again mate...
I do believe that people are missing out when they do not bond with their fathers...
numerous nicknames? whoah... kudos bro..
And thank u about the hair cut... too bad the missus wasn't too crazy on it...
(WHYYYYYYYYYY??? I believe was her initial response)
and jumping and hiding socks and stuffing socks in his shirt and kickin around bottles pretending he's a football star.
he's cool~!
Iman, I do believe u have summed up my son quite effectively...
this is the time anak2 sayang kat kita unconditionally... perlu hargai peluang yang ada...
bila boleh jumpa family2 dating lagi ni?
coz good dad was a person
who care enough to scure
the family knot...
im happy 4 u sir...