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'My husband found out about us... It's over...I finally filed... for divorce'
I cannot say that I was surprised at the words that I heard from her.
She was on a crash course the minute she let her former lover back into her life... Not that she did anything overtly wrong... A call here here, an sms there, a Facebook message... but all spiralling faster and faster to the same direction... She was a beautiful 30-something, full of life, and so much to give, trapped in a dead-end... Married for more than 5 or 6 years, husband who didn't appreciate her, staying together not so much that she wanted to be with the husband, but more of staying together for the children...
And the sad truth is - she wasn't the only one.
Many women have confided in me the same thing... Each and every one different women, from different walks of life, with different careers, and different histories... Yet their stories are so common that I could easily tell one woman's story, and another woman would claim it was hers.
It's a different ball-game, being 30-something, and feeling that your marriage has failed you. It's even more devastating when you can't help yourself when you are drawn to that special someone, who listens to you as you pour your heart out... He could be the friend you've known all your life, an old flame, or even a colleague, but they all have one thing in common - they understand you heart and soul, they know you inside out - even better your own husband, and in another life, they would have been your soulmates...
But not in this.
And you know it... and try to let go...
Some of you can...
But some of you find the pull too irresistible...
Like a moth to the flame, drawn closer and closer, until it is engulfed in flame.
Indeed, I find it sad that the sacred bond of marriage is so very fragile, that if pushed enough, will disintegrate upon touch.
However, in no way do I blame the women for what they go through.
I know that they have gone through hell and back, scarred and burnt, but ready to forge a new life for themselves...though for some it may take a longer time than others to realise this...to take the chance and brave the road not taken.
All this has made me reevaluate my own marriage, and my position in the marriage. I realise that these stories are symptomatic of a major cause.
A husband should always try to show his love and appreciation to his wife, no matter how long they've been married , or how many children they have.
Or the consequences could be shattering...