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Men, Women and GPS


Sometimes one wonders how our two species even co-exist on the same planet here on Earth (though I do not dispute that I cannot do without these heavenly creatures). I know that it's a cliche, but men and women really have different ways of communicating. In this post and in some other future posts I will try to decipher some of the wonderful and mysterious ways that women try to convey their messages with.

I think, one that remains a delightful mystery is the method of communication that I like to call the "Tone and Pitch GPS device". For some reason, I've noticed that many women that I've come into contact with have the abilty to transfer coded map information in the pitch and tone of their voices. It's a wonderfully mysterious device that I seem to have been born without... And oh how I wish I could own one. Allow me to illustrate:

During my sister's wedding recently, almost all my uncles and aunts attended, and of course, while they were in JB they managed to get in touch with their friends and some made arrangements to meet up. It was then that I was introduced to this one Datin who was a friend of my aunt. Delighted to see her old friend, she (the Datin) insisted that I drive my aunt over to her house when I had the time. I of course obliged, and like any good designated chauffer, I asked the wonderfully loudspoken Datin where her house was... 

Upon which she said "Oh, you know the Kempas road?"

Upon which I shook my head to indicate my polite ignorance.  

Upon which she said again, but in a slightly higher tone, tingling with the slightest twinge of a vibrato (which of course helped to send the coordinates) "You know, the Kempas road?"

Again, because of an absent decoder, I said "No...", but I did what any normal male would do - get my bearings and try to work from a common landmark. So I dutifully asked "OK, let's say if I were to approach the Pasir Gudang highway and go up the flyover, would that take me closer to your house?"

At first, I could see her pause for thought (about one and a half seconds I believe it was), as she tried to comprehend the concept of finding a common landmark.

"Erm.." She began, "When you reach the Pasir Gudang... erm... Flyover... you... erm..." 

I could see that it was all a bit too much for her, and I could see how distressed she was at how inept I was at reading her encoded GPS signals in the tone and pitch of her voice, so she gave me one final treat - a full frequency encoding through her most powerful tone and pitch modulators "OH YOU KNOW...THE KEMPAS ROAD? THE KEMPAS ROAD?" all the while smiling and nodding enthusiastically "THE KEMPAS ROAD???"

Of course raising her pitch and tone made me know the exact coordinates her house was at... If I was a woman that was...

But... Unfortunately my masculine body was not equipped to handle this kind of subtle communication. I did what any male would do, when trying to please a woman...

Feign understanding, nod, and smile.

Comments

missyizzati said…
LOL. really!

ahaha...i feel like i want to apologize on the behalf of that datin. (because i'm a woman) but, she should have done better. hehe.

you must have experienced this quite a few times right?
niasara said…
wakakkkakak....indeed hilarious !!! simpati sungguh la kat Dr!!!
Abdullah said…
Ijat,
apology accepted, and yes, this situation seems to have happened numerous times when it comes to women giving directions.;)

Lina,
I'm glad my pain and confusion gives you so much delight....poor me. (Let me know when the decoder becomes available for guys ok?)
Percicilan said…
errr.. I can read maps hokay! :P
missyizzati said…
heh. maybe the lady does not always drive, so she will have a hard time giving directions. i'm usually like that. haha. but, i'm getting better!

encik lah, dengarnya kamu tak sihat. okay kah?
Abdullah said…
CC,
Truly a formidable skill.. ;)

Ijat,
Siapa kata saya sakit?
DeanSham said…
bro,
S.O.P, feign understanding, nod, smile!!!

hahahaha!!!

Women, they want to be understood, but they make all the subtle moves they can think of!

Just to annoy you I guess!
Abdullah said…
Bro,
Modus Operandi my man...
But this post was not to belittle the lovelier sex, by far...

It's to highlight how special and well-equipped they are :)
missyizzati said…
er...wrong info kah?

cik lah,nak datang terjah bilik!
Abdullah said…
Hehehe...boleeeh...datang lah...nnt boleh facilitate budak2 punya activities.
missyizzati said…
budak2 punya activities? sounds fun! bila? does it include handsome guys(besides you :P)?
musyuk said…
hi... nice blog.. just found!~ since here is about navy.. i luv!!~ welcome to my blog~
Princess Liyana said…
huhuhu..well..women are special;)ahaha..so men must do ANYTHING to please us..right Sir?..ahaha.. ;P
affendik? said…
err...
prior to liyana's comment (above me), how would you define pleasing a woman, sir?
a)let them get lost due to their naturally built inept GPS by feigning understanding, nodding, and smiling
b)explain to them that a sound GPS system is a must for everyone to own and to master by not feigning understanding, nodding, and smiling

i HONESTLY am confused...hehe
Abdullah said…
Ijat,
not much in the handsome guys department besides me ;)

musyuk,
welcome ;)

Liyana,
We guys do STRANGE things for the women in our lives.

Onn,
You're confused? Congratulations...Welcome to my world!
Princess Liyana said…
Define STRANGE thing?ekeke.. ;P
Abdullah said…
Going on a motorbike at 11pm...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! kidding...
I knew it was you guys the minute i saw u yesterday :)

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