At Last My Brother... This Day is Yours

No one can describe how proud I was of my brother... 6 years my junior... All grown up...
The moment when they announced his name in the hall... I stood up and clapped, and a dozen other lecturers and professors clapped in unison, all wondering who this whizzkid was who got the single standing ovation of the entire convocation...

I smiled...

That was my brother...

The kid I loved to pieces as a teenager...

I was his idol... his mentor... his elder brother...

The young adult I watched grow apart, as he struck his own footsteps in the sands of time, no longer stepping in mine...

It was a painful realisation... A lesson I had to learn... but I knew he had to walk his own path... Choose his own destiny... Where I would only exist as an observer... And so I observed... how this boy became an adult... and how this adult became a man...

And so I clapped, even as the clapping of others ceased... A solitary man in glistening robes... clapping for the man who was his pride and joy... His brother...

Congratulations Ammar.

Comments

aReLaNg said…

congrats ammar... ;)

May 1, 2008 at 4:53 PM

Princess Liyana said…

Congratulations Ammar:)huhu

May 1, 2008 at 6:32 PM

azie said…

congratulations!

May 1, 2008 at 8:07 PM

missyizzati said…

reminds me of the supernatural brothers..so cool together..(been watching it lately..ahaks)

May 4, 2008 at 1:33 AM

Abdullah said…

Thanks girls... :)
Ammar is now working in KL in an architect consultant firm in Sri Hartamas. He's working hard there, but also enjoying what he does.. I guess that's what everyone needs to do right? :)

May 4, 2008 at 3:05 AM

Forgiveness

How does one forgive someone who has done them and their loved ones so much wrong?

This is a question that I struggle with, and have always struggled with for a long time.
How does one push past the pain and suffering that a person had willingly caused, worse yet, caused to someone that they loved. We stand at the sidelines, and feel ourselves slighted, yet the pain we feel is minuscule, compared to the earth-shattering hurt our loved one experiences. Yet we are powerless, drowning in a helplessness, grasping for any lifeline that can pull ourselves out from the deep.
How can we let go when hatred is all we know. A hatred that festered from seeds of dislike. This poison that we feed ourselves. Yet it is all we know.
How does one tell oneself to let go?
If a person murders your son, and returns a month later, saying he is genuinely sorry; what would you do? He comes in and says he will pay for the cleaning bill, to wipe the blood stains off the floor, and to send the carpet for dry…

The End

I am in a hotel room.

It is unclear who else is in the room. It must be my family. But I am uncertain. I know I am in the room with people I love.

The hotel room is in a building that towers above ground level, and we can see all the houses below.

I am in Hawaii I think. How I know that I do not know. All I know is that we are beside the ocean.

I feel unsettled as I look out the window. Something is compelling me to look outside the window. It is getting dark. But I know by right it should not be dark. It is midday. And then I see it.

In front of me a huge storm cloud is gathering. But I start to quiver because it looks like no ordinary storm. The clouds are pitch black. Black as death. My eyes follow their shape to where they originate. I gasp.

I see a gigantic water spout, a tornado in the ocean, funnelling its energy to the black cloud. The water spout is also pitch black. Rain now pours uncontrollably. It is a hurricane at its full blast, but not just that. It is much, much more.

…

Aku, Bini dan Ginger Beer

Aku haus...

Tekakku yang kering ini menginginkan rasanya yang menenangkan jiwa itu...

Perasaannya apabila ku menggenggam botol kacanya yang sejuk dan berwap-wap dan mengangkatnya keluar peti ais kecilku, perasaannya seperti seorang kanak-kanak Taman Keramat memegang aiskrim Malaysia 10sen pada hari yang panas membara...

Riang... Nikmat... Penantian yang menyiksakan, tetapi penantian yang lazat...

Dengan pergerakan yang perlahan seperti 'slow-motion' dalam sinetron Indonesia kegemaran surirumah-surirumah di Malaysia, muncung botol Ginger Beer kegemaranku mampir bibirku yang terketar-ketar sedikit, sehinggalah aku dapat rasa cecair yang sejuk membasahi tekakku...

Nikmat...

Sedap tidak terperi...

Aku menghulurkan kepada biniku, dan dia juga meneguk kenikmatan...

Aku menadah tangan meminta kembali Ginger Beer kesayanganku yang berjenama Bundaberg buatan New Zealand.

Saat itu tidak tiba-tiba...

Aku tertanya-tanya... Mata terkebil-kebil...

"Ni saya punya ya Bang..." ujar …

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