In the wake of my grandmother's passing, I begin to reflect on a few things...
It has been three years since I had gone back to the land of my father's ancestors... Three years since I had kissed the fresh breeze of its morning sky... Three years since I had gone back to Kelantan.
I had always felt at home there, waking up in my grandmother's house, or even my aunt's house. Waking up to the lilting sounds of the Kelantanese dialect - a musical language, whose beauty is apparent to all, but whose true meaning can only be appreciated by one born of the tongue, or in my case one who is half-born to the tongue.
I remember there used to be a time when a sense of calm and happiness would engulf me as we crossed the borders into the Kelantanese lands... My affinity with the land and its people... My paternal tribe...
Yet at the same time, as much as I felt at home there, there was still a sense of alienness, that I was still not a part of the people, as much as I had wanted to be...I was alien for so long, because I did not truly speak the native Kelantanese dialect. I was told that it was 'tainted' by influences from the Terengganu dialect, or even some parts of the 'standard' dialect.
But I tried.
I worked hard on practicing it. Harder than I ever tried for any other dialect or language. I don't think even my father knew, because I would only speak the 'standard' dialect with him.
I worked hard because I did not want to feel alien, no matter how slight.
Finally, it was not until my early twenties did I really get a sense of how to really speak the language - that I could strike up a conversation with a local without them having to ask me where I was from.
I know for many it's a moot point. "So what?" they say, "Just speak your own language, your own dialect."
I laugh out loud every time I hear that... Just what is my language? my dialect? English? West country? London? Malay? Johorean? 'Standard'? Sabahan? Terengganu? Kelantan?
Language is a powerful force. It can determine one's right to be where they are... It can determine if one does indeed truly belong.
It determines one's Identity.
Comments
Have you made nasi tumpang :P
happy fasting.
err..err...ai malu nak tanya nih..tapi..err..err...duit raya ade utk ai tak?ahahaha
sorry, nak gi ketawa terbahak-bahak.
Alahai cik azie ooooiiiii
I don't think I'd be capable of such a feat...I leave that in ur capable hands..tapi bila dah buat nanti jgn lupa hantar kat sini eh?
Azie,
Nanti jemput dtg ye..Duit raya bergantung bergantung kepada sumbangan anda. Sila pilih dari yang berikut:
1- Datang, makan kuih, balik (10sen)
2- Datang, minum air kosong, balik (20sen)
3- Datang, tolong hidang, layan tetamu (RM1 sejam)
4- Datang, tolong hidang, layan tetamu, kemas rumah (RM2 sejam)
Datang ye! :)
Ailin,
Rasul s.a.w kalau ketawa hanya tersenyum menampakkan gigi.
I kalau ketawa menampakkan anak tekak.
duk umah u sehari suntuk takpe. duit masyuk beb,ahahaha
haih sir, u r too kind:P
huhu, takde keje lain ke?;p hik2. memasak hidangan berbuka puasa ke?selain kemas mgemas..ahaks;p
tidur rumah I pun xpe..tp I charge for lodging RM20 semalam. After taking option 4 for 12 hours, u'd get RM24. Minus lodging = RM4. Minus service tax = RM2.
Duit raya RM2 ok apa?... ;)
Liyana,
U boleh basuh kereta I.
btw sir, banyak betul language u know. belum campur spanish, german, french lagi kan? hehe..erm. btw, i kinda agree with u. language is a powerful source.
all of them (the ones u've mentioned) are ur language, dialect. u just have to choose. good luck in adding to that list. :D
thanks :) u ingat lg the languages that I talked about huh?... hehehehe...tp banyak language tu makin lama makin hilang... lama x pakai..
Identity is what gives one his lineage, his root. Is that a moot point?
Sometimes it's so difficult when one cannot claim true lineage to any land... It's something like belonging everywhere, yet belonging nowhere.
Claim your lineage. It's what is in your heart; where you feel you really belong. Nobody have any right to deny you that..
Thank you for being fair in your expose ( you always are )
Dad